Faye: The Therapy Sessions
by Red Ninja
Summary: *Completed* "He loves me so that funny honey of mine. What if the world slandered my name? He'd be right there taking the blame. He loves me so and it all suits me fine." Faye seeks professional help after the end of Bebop.
1. Surrendering

Standard Disclaimers apply, going broke again, damn Express and their stylish yet expensive clothes, please don't sue me  
  
**Author's Notes: I shouldn't be starting a new fic considering I just started a Rurouni Kenshin fic and I'm half way through a Weiss Kreuz fic. But I'm afraid if I don't get this one down I may loose it. In later chapters this fic is going to get very personal for me, so we'll see how it goes...  
  
This begins after the 26th episode and will be told mainly from Faye's point of view unless otherwise noted.  
  
~Faye: the Therapy Sessions~ Chapter 1~Surrendering  
  
"What is it about the shower that makes you think?"  
  
"I don't know Faye, what is it about the shower?"  
  
"I don't know, you're the one with the degree."  
  
"But the shower doesn't make me think it makes YOU think. Why is it? Explain it to me."  
  
"I don't know something about the rhythm of the water."  
  
"Good, what else?"  
  
I scrunched up my eyebrows 'Was there something else?' of course there was, but I don't particularly want to tell her. Why did I do this to myself? Why did I think this was a good idea? I should be gambling, not talking to a shrink about my "feelings." This is dumb...  
  
"Faye, if you're not going to open up to me, there's no point in you being here."  
  
Okay, point for her  
  
"Okay, it's not just the rhythm. Something about the water beating against my back."  
  
"Good, what else?"  
  
"It's just me, me and some water. I'm left there to think, there's nothing else to do but let your mind wander."  
  
"So, it's a good thing?"  
  
"No, well, it starts out nice but then my mind goes to places that I'd rather not have it go."  
  
"Like Spike?"  
  
"....yes"  
  
"I know he died Faye, but what else happened. I don't think you're telling me the entire story."  
  
"He left me, he abandoned me when I needed him most to go chase down some pipe dreams in his past!"  
  
I couldn't say anymore. I started feeling nauseous all over again. I didn't want to go back, I wanted all these thoughts just to go away and stay away. I never wanted to remember them, again.  
  
"What else happened Faye?"  
  
"I just told you."  
  
She wasn't getting anymore out of me. Think about something else, c'mon Faye, hold yourself together.  
  
"No, what were the events that lead to this Faye?"  
  
"What does it matter?"  
  
"It matters because it's the reason you're here. If you don't tell me I can't help you out Faye."  
  
I sighed, 'nother point for her. I'm really sucking it up today 'Just tell her, what harm can it do?' That's right she was helping me. I took in a deep breath, okay, go back. Go back Faye so you can get out of this damned hole.  
  
**Wrap-up Notes: Short, yes I know. It's kinda the prequel to what's coming. It will get more interesting, I'm just setting things up. So review why don't ya! I'm going back to working on Chapter 7 of my WK fic. 


	2. Inaudible Melodies

Standard disclaimers apply, very broke after 2 weekends of shopping with Erica the dirty whore,please don't sue me  
  
**Author's Notes: I'm trying not to give much away but I need to throw out a warning here. Faye is going to recount the experience of having a panic attack. If you've never had a panic attack it's practically impossible to describe in words, but I'm going to try (cross your fingers).  
  
We're still in Faye's point of view  
  
~Chapter 2~Inaudible Melodies  
  
"I remember watching him leave, I couldn't think. The only thing that made any damn sense to me was to shoot off my gun, like that would have stopped him. But he kept walking, I even toyed with the idea of shooting one of his legs to make him stay. But then I realized he would have left me anyway, the past had complete control over him. I toyed with the idea of threatening to shoot myself, but he wouldn't have cared then either. I could imagine exactly what he'd say 'Go ahead, Faye,' as if he didn't care that I lived or died. I remember vividly the image of him all slumped over like usual walking around the corner to die, it' about the only image I do remember well. I collapsed on the metal floor, it usually would have hurt like hell, but I was so numb I couldn't feel anything but this extreme nausea in the pits of my stomach."  
  
I looked up at Doctor Zebb, she merely nodded as if to urge me on. I was trying to keep my breakfast down the best I could. All this talking about him was making me feel that same sickness all over again.  
  
"You look pale Faye, you want to take a break?"  
  
No, I'm on a roll, I wanna get this all out before......I don't know, it just needs to come out, I guess.  
  
"No I'm alright. Well, Jet came out to see me on the floor. All he said was something like 'So Spike left did he?' the mere mention of his name sent my body into this spiral. I knew Jet was saying something else but I couldn't hear him. I felt so completely detached as the hall spiraled around me. Then this wave of nausea hit me and I ran for the bathroom."  
  
"Did you throw up?"  
  
"It started out as just gagging and spitting, then into more of a dry heave, but I never actually got anything up. I came back out to see Jet holding my key, we were going to go after him. After what he just did to us, Jet still wanted to follow. Like we were Spike's pawns or something in his sick little game of life. I wanted to say no, my head was screaming to stay put and let the bastard die. But I couldn't, my heart, my damn heart wouldn't let me. I don't remember any of the flight to the syndicate headquarters, I just remember having to fight off the nausea the entire trip. I'm surprised I didn't crash the Redtail or something. I remember Jet talking to me to, I don't know what he was saying. It was like this bee buzzing around my head, I couldn't focus again. I remember feeling trapped too, I've never felt that way in the Redtail, but it just felt like it was getting smaller and smaller."  
  
"You've never had claustrophobic feelings like that before?"  
  
"No"  
  
"Interesting, please continue Faye"  
  
"We got there and it was a mess, there were policeman and syndicate flunkies all over the place. The Red Dragon members were all bloody, all of them, with these dazed looks on their faces as if they'd never really been outside before. Most were getting cuffed by policeman, Jet yelled at me to get out and help look around. My legs felt like pure jell-o as I climbed down out of Redtail. I followed Jet up this beautiful staircase that was covered in blood. There was so much blood, so many dead bodies, it was too much. I collapsed again and a new, more intense wave of nausea hit me. Jet was talking to a Red Dragon member, I knew he was asking about Spike, Vicious, and Julia. All I could hear was 'dead,' they were all dead every single one of them. Dying for the past, they died for nothing, nothing at all. Jet looked back at me with these painful, glossed over eyes. I lost it, the whole room went spinning again. It felt like there was this war going on in my head, it pounded so hard. I couldn't breathe and the room started closing in on me and it just kept spinning. I was breathing so heavy and shaking so hard, I was so sick. Jet tried to help me up, but the second he touched me I was throwing up, heaving hard, shaking worse than before. Jet was asking the man about Spike's body so we could bury him, the Red Dragon shook his head 'No body.' I was still shaking and dry heaving when Jet came back over to me. He just picked my up, like a child and carried me out to Hammerhead. He got me into his ship and we drove back the ship, he kept patting my shoulder and saying things to me. I don't remember what though, he was trying his best to calm me down but my head was still fighting itself. When we got back to the ship, I felt better, I could walk. I walked around the empty ship, I decided to take a shower considering I had just vomited all over myself. I was feeling better with every step I took, but then I walked by his room. I lost myself all over again, next thing I knew I was shaking and dry heaving over a toilet all over again."  
  
**Wrap-up Notes: Hopefully that was okay, I tried to make this decent but I think I may have failed miserably. Faye's session will end with Dr. Zebb at the beginning of next chapter and she'll be back on the Bebop to talk about everyone else. Please, read and review this fic AND my other fics!!  
  
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	3. All I Need is an Open Mic

Standard Disclaimers Apply, I've gone broke again so please don't sue.  
  
**Author's Notes: I really should be updating my RK fic "The Middle Man" (which you should go take the time to read) but I've gotten such and awesome response to this fic for it being so new and short. So I've decided to update this one instead. This story means alot to me in more ways than one and there's nothing better than seeing all your reviews! *Sniff sniff* Any who, I've been listening to Elvis Costello's new album When I was Cruel like crazy and it fits perfectly with Bebop (at least I think so) so watch for the appearance of some of his songs here along the way.  
  
Still in Faye's good ole point of view  
  
All I Need is an Open Mic Chapter 3  
  
"Well I think this was a very productive session Faye"  
  
"Ya, think?"  
  
"Yeah, I think. How's my music therapy suggestion going?"  
  
"Oh yeah that, great actually"  
  
"Found anything?"  
  
"This song called Sweet Baby James, I don't remember who it's by, but I could sing all the words. I know it's important for some reason, by the end of the song I was crying."  
  
"Is it a sad song?"  
  
"Sort of but not really, I think it's from my past like it holds some significance."  
  
"I think that's a pretty good theory, Faye. Well I have a proposition for you."  
  
She flips me a flyer that lists the new members of the Mars Theater Company and the list of their shows for the new season.  
  
"What the hell is this? You want me to go see ALL these shows!?!"  
  
"No, I want to you to audition for the company."  
  
"But it says here auditions are closed."  
  
"For normal people yes, but I happen to know they need a new singer, and I think you'd fit the bill."  
  
"But..."  
  
"I'm friends with the head of the company..."  
  
"No! I'm not getting in just cause of you, I want to do it on my own...."  
  
"I know, I just happen to know he goes to the open mic nights at the One World coffee shop on Mars. And if he hears something he likes....":  
  
"I see....but I can't be wasting all my time with a theater group, what about my money?"  
  
"The company IS a paying job Faye, and from the luck you've been having with bounties I think it would be a good thing."  
  
"Hm, I see."  
  
I glanced down at the flyer at the picture of the company all smiling and happy, I wanted to be one of those people. At that moment that's all I wanted in the entire world right now, to be happy. I'd have a constant cash flow, I'd be secure, I'd be happy and hell what did I have to lose?  
  
"When's the next open mic?"  
  
Doctor Zebb smiled at me, like she was proud. Maybe because I'm moving on, getting up and out.  
  
"Tonight actually, you think you can be ready?"  
  
"C'mon you're speaking to THE Faye Valentine, of course I can be ready."  
  
"See you there then, Faye"  
  
She gave me one of those proud smiles again, handed me my forms to give to the secretary and I left her office with this out of character grin on my face. And new career prospects in my hand.  
  
I got back in my RedTail and popped in one of my many minidisks full of music that I was listening to for my "music therapy." It had been a suggestion of Doctor Zebb, to listen to old music and see if it brings some type of reaction within me. She figured since I seemed to be slightly musically minded, I would remember song. Amazingly it was working. It wasn't really bringing back memories but I found myself singing along to songs I'd never heard before. The first song I had found was by a guy named David Bowie and the song was simply called Changes. I knew all the words, and even though it was only a song, there was still this connection. A connection to a place and a time that I couldn't recall. And even if I didn't remember the song, they were wonderful to listen to. They were from a less complicated time, they were songs about love, loss, and happiness; something I was seriously lacking as of recent.  
  
I don't know what Jet thought I did every Thursday morning. I had told him in the beginning I was going to gamble, but any idiot would know there are no good casinos open at ten in the morning on a Thursday. I could have thought of a better excuse, but I think secretly I wanted him to know. It was just him and me now, he's all I had left and I clung to him like a child. There was also the music, I played music all the time, everywhere I went, everything I did, I had music playing. For once in my memory I was pretty damn happy, considering. Jet and I got along, we laughed and worked hard. Out of boredom yesterday, I taught him how to dance to this old song they always played in casino dance halls called Moondance. I was surprised that the man couldn't dance, but he was a quick learner.  
  
"Wow, Jet I think ya got it down."  
  
"Ha, you think?"  
  
"Next woman that dances with Jet Black will have her socks knocked off. It would have to be to this song though."  
  
"Why?"  
  
"This is a beautiful song, I've always loved this song. I always wanted Spike and I to dance to this song."  
  
I remember stopping after that came out. It was the first time I'd said his name and not gotten sick. Things were beginning to look up, yes they were. I smiled as I docked the Bebop. I have a show to get ready for, I laughed to myself.  
  
"Morning Faye"  
  
"Good Morning, Jet"  
  
"Is it?"  
  
"Yes, yes it is."  
  
An idea crossed my head, did I want him to come?  
  
"Uh, Jet?"  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
"Got a question for ya."  
  
"As long as you don't ask for money, shoot."  
  
"I was going to sing at this open mic night, tonight and....."  
  
Before I could finish he had me in a patented Jet bear hug, he released me and gave me a proud smile. Like the kind a dad gives his kid when they get straight A's on their report card.  
  
"I'd love to come Faye"  
  
"Alright then, 9 at the One World coffee house.'  
  
"I'll be there."  
  
I walked back to my room with a lot to get done before 8 tonight. I passed by his room on the way to mine. I opened the door, it still smelled like him in there, I went and laid down on his bed. What would he think of me now? Was he looking down in shame knowing what he had done to me? Looking at the hell he sent upon me, the hell I had just recently begun to freeze over with that stubborn attitude of mine. That stubborn attitude he hated so much was the only thing that was saving me now, I refused to let his death control me. It took time but, it wasn't anymore, not as much anyway. For the first time in a long time I thought things were gonna be alright, I didn't have much of a past, but I had one hell of a future. But then again he's probably just thinking how I'm going to get into the Mars Theater Company with my off key singing. I laughed to myself and went and got ready for tonight.  
  
At eight I headed off in my RedTail so I could get to One World early, Jet was going to follow me a little later. As I was cruising towards Mars a red faded ship passed me. A wave of deja vu struck me, but I just blew it off. I had to give one hell of a performance in less than an hour.  
  
**Wrap-up Notes: The song Sweet Baby James is by James Taylor and Moondance is by Van Morrison, both very good songs. The next chapter should be up REALLY soon so don't worry, k?  
  
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	4. Gotta Get Through This

Standard Disclaimers Apply, must save up money to see Bowling for Columbine at least 20 times, please don't sue  
  
**Author's Notes: Hopefully you don't all think the open mic, Faye singing thing is lame. I really dig it, so tough!! I will update The Middle Man, I will update The Middle Man, no more writing this fic.....right.  
  
Still Faye's POV  
  
Chapter 4~Gotta Get Through This~  
  
I was nervous, for one of the first times in my life I was nervous. The people around me looked scared shitless, but I wasn't really scared, just nervous. I looked out in the audience to see Doctor Zebb eyeing me and discretely pointing at the man sitting next to her. He must be the company head, but it didn't particularly phase me. I was desperately waiting for Jet to come, I wanted him to see this. I wanted him to know I could do something right for a change. I saw him enter beaming like a proud father, a man with a brown coat and hat followed him in and sat next to him at a table. They talked and laughed like they were old friends. 'Hm, he even brought another friend, good to see he has some faith in me.' I smiled and checked my outfit one last time. It was simple, non revealing and I kinda liked it. I was wearing a knee length denim skirt that was purposely faded and frayed and a black, ribbed turtleneck sweater that fit me like a glove. I went without a headband tonight and was wearing a pair of simple black leather knee-high boots. I firmly decided I didn't want to get into this company by, um...bust alone. I wanted my talent to carry me through this. I felt like a real woman, not just some dime a dozen whore. 'I may need to go shopping here soon.'  
  
Open mic started as a few singer/songwriter hippies went. One by one the people went, I looked out at Jet who gave me a thumbs up and another smile. The man tilted his head up, all I could see was his wiry smile. It was a nice smile, I was again struck with one of those weird deja vu feelings. Something to talk about in next week's session, I figured. The woman backstage smiled up at me.  
  
"Faye Valentine"  
  
"Yep"  
  
"You're on"  
  
I stepped closer to the stage awaiting the last act to finish. When they were done the owner of the club stepped out and grabbed the mic.  
  
"Next up, a new comer to Open Mic Night, let's give her a warm welcome. Faye Valentine!"  
  
I took a nervous step on stage and looked over at my accompanist on the piano. I stood a the mic and gave him a slight nod. He started playing, I took one last deep breath and sang.  
  
Ninety miles outside of Chicago  
  
can't stop driving I don't know why  
  
so many questions  
  
I need an answer  
  
Two years you leaving  
  
and you're still on my mind  
  
Whatever happened to Amelia Earheart?  
  
Who holds stars up in the sky?  
  
Is true love just once in a lifetime?  
  
Did the captain of the Titanic cry?  
  
Someday we'll know  
  
if love can move a mountain  
  
Someday we'll know  
  
why the sky is blue  
  
Someday we'll know  
  
why I wasn't meant for you  
  
Does anybody know the way to Atlantis?  
  
Or what the wind says when she cries?  
  
I'm speeding by the place that I met you  
  
for the ninety-seventh time  
  
tonight  
  
Someday we'll know  
  
if love can move a mountain  
  
Someday we'll know  
  
why the sky is blue  
  
Someday we'll know  
  
why I wasn't meant for you  
  
Someday we'll know  
  
why Samson loved Delilah  
  
One day I'll go dancing on the moon  
  
Someday you'll know I was the one for you  
  
I bought a ticket to the end of the rainbow  
  
I watch the stars crash in the sea  
  
If I could ask God just one question  
  
Why aren't you here with me?  
  
tonight  
  
Someday we'll know  
  
if love can move a mountain  
  
Someday we'll know  
  
why the sky is blue  
  
Someday we'll know  
  
why I wasn't meant for you  
  
Someday we'll know  
  
why Samson loved Delilah  
  
One day I'll go dancing on the moon  
  
Someday you'll know I was the one for you  
  
After I was done, I knew it was good. I gave it all I had, and it was a beautiful thing. I received a standing ovation, the first and only for the night. Afterwards I headed out into the seating of the shop. The manager was the first to get to me, and offered me my own performances in the evenings, for pay. I told him I'd consider. Doctor Zebb and the manager of the company found me next.  
  
"Faye, that was excellent. I knew you had it in you."  
  
"Thank you Doc...Rebecca."  
  
The man next to her smiled and finally spoke to me.  
  
"Faye, that was excellent."  
  
He held out his hand to shake.  
  
"I'm William Salvador of the Mars Theater Company, I'd love if you'd come down and audition for the group."  
  
"I'd love to Mr. Salvador."  
  
"Please, call me Bill."  
  
"Thank you Bill."  
  
He handed me his card and instructions to call on Monday to set up an audition time.  
  
"I think you'd do the company some good."  
  
"Thank you Bill. Excuse me but I need to find a friend."  
  
"No trouble at all, I hope to hear from you soon."  
  
I saw Jet smiling at me from across the room. I walked, well, more like ran into one of his bear hugs.  
  
"God, that was beautiful Faye."  
  
"I'm glad you made it Jet."  
  
"Wouldn't have missed it for the world."  
  
I laughed, a good laugh, things were going right again. I was digging myself out of the hole. Hell I was right at the top, nothing could have taken me off that cloud I was floating on at that moment. Except a voice behind me.  
  
"You weren't completely off-key that time Faye. I'm impressed"  
  
My stomach lurched as I turned to face Jet's "friend." I was confronted by a mop of brown, fuzzy hair, a lopsided smile, and two mismatched brown eyes. I immediately started shaking uncontrollably and ran for the nearest bathroom.  
  
**Wrap-Notes: Ooooh, cliffhanger how thoroughly exciting. And short too, I know, again I work in spurts. Hehehe, now I must go update my other neglected fics. But if I get an amazing response from these two chapter *cough* review *cough* I may be so inclined to update this one sooner. The song btw, is by New Radicals called Someday We'll Know. I suggest downloading it, I think it'll help with the flow of the chapter. Ok, I'm outie!  
  
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	5. Doll Revolution

Standard Disclaimers apply, spent more money I didn't have on an 80 dollar cut/dye job on my hair, please don't sue.  
  
**Author's Notes: I can't leave this fic alone!!! So instead of updating my other two in progress fics I'm just going to finish this one. I LOVE the responses I'm getting from you guys, this fic means alot to me. I'm gonna try my best to keep this story entirely from Faye's point of view, because I don't think I can write from Spike's.  
  
Still Faye's Point of View  
  
Chapter 5~Doll Revolution~  
  
I was looking down at the dingy toilet that I'm sure once was white. I had just flushed down the contents of my dinner and I just stood there hanging over it waiting for the next wave to hit. I was praying the Doctor Zebb would be in momentarily to talk me through this, because I didn't think I could physically leave the stall without heaving more. As if God heard my calls for help at that moment someone opened the door and walked into the bathroom.  
  
"Docto..."  
  
"Faye?"  
  
No no no no no no no no no no and no! Anyone but him, he's the reason I'm in here for Christ's sake.  
  
"What the hell are you doing in the stall Faye? Don't tell me you get stage fright after you perform. I wasn't THAT off key, I'm sure most people didn't even notice it."  
  
I felt another wave of nausea and gave a good dry heave over the toilet.  
  
"Faye?"  
  
Don't talk to him, then he'll go away. That's it ignore him.  
  
"Can't you take a joke Faye? Christ you've gotten touchy."  
  
I still refused to answer him, he had NO idea what kind of hell I had been through and in my current position over the toilet I was in no mood to enlighten him. I kept praying Doctor Zebb would waltz through the door, get rid of Spike, and get me out of this bathroom. If I could have opened my mouth to scream without puking I would have. Spike, the bastard, spoke up again.  
  
"Faye.....are you really all right?"  
  
He could fool anyone with that voice, he sounded like he was actually concerned. Concerned for a shrew bitch like me.  
  
"Can I, please come in?"  
  
'Come in? Come in!' When the fuck did he get so damned polite, the bastard. He was messing with my head all over again, like back in the day. Making me think he cared then laughing and throwing right back in my face. I needed him out, and at this point, would have done anything to get him out. I finally fought off the bile rising out of my stomach to say something.  
  
"This is the WOmen's bathroom, Spike. Get out!"  
  
"Excuse me?"  
  
"You heard me, get the fuck out, before I..."  
  
"Before you what, Faye? Throw up some more?"  
  
That was it, I was going to kill him and if he wanted it so bad I'd puke on him! I went to attempt to stand up but was forced back down by another push of bile. I heaved hard into the toilet, I couldn't believe there was still anything left in there. I heaved hard bile poured from my mouth and nose. Tears had welled up in my eyes, it felt like bile was spewing from every pore in my damned body. I thought I was going to pass out until a pair of heels clicked into the bathroom.  
  
"Faye?"  
  
My savior, praise the Lord! Doctor Zebb walked over to the stall and stood next to Spike.  
  
"Can I come in Faye?"  
  
I shakily stood up and cracked open the door to see doctor Zebb's concerned face. She opened the door wider and stepped in. I got my first good look at him in months. He hadn't changed a bit, he was everything I remembered, he even smelled the same. He went to follow her in but I slammed the stall door in his face and locked it.  
  
"I'm glad you choose the handicapped stall Faye, otherwise we'd be crammed."  
  
I returned to my seat on the floor by the toilet and doctor Zebb joined me.  
  
"So, what's happening here Faye?"  
  
"I'm throwing up..."  
  
"That's pretty apparent. Did you have another attack?"  
  
I nodded it had been one just as bad as the first one when I thought he died. Wait a second....  
  
"Spike, get the hell out of here."  
  
"Excuse me?"  
  
Doctor Zebb stood up and cracked open the door.  
  
"Out fro boy she doesn't need you here."  
  
"Who the hell are you anyway?!"  
  
"That's for Faye to tell you when she's ready, now get out."  
  
With that I saw those stupid blue shoes turn and head out of the bathroom.  
  
"Take some deep breaths Faye. Get back down."  
  
I inhaled and exhaled deeply a few times, feeling stronger with each breath.  
  
"Good Faye. So are you gonna go back out there?"  
  
"I'll just wait until HE leaves."  
  
"Why?"  
  
"I don't want to look at him again."  
  
"This is what you wanted isn't if Faye? For him to be alive, to be here with you. He's here now, but where are you?"  
  
"Heaving in a toilet."  
  
"You have to give the man a chance, he's here for a reason."  
  
I gave her a skeptical look.  
  
"I don't think he just "accidentally" showed up in this place with Jet. And I seriously think he was concerned about you Faye, whether you believe that or not is up to you. But from a professional stand point, I think he's here for you."  
  
"Why? Why now, why here, why when things were getting along just fine without him? Why did he have to come back when things were finally starting to be good again? Why didn't he come back when I was a mental wreck dying inside for any sign that he was still alive and well? Where was he then, huh?"  
  
"I can't answer that Faye, but he can."  
  
I merely nodded, she stood up and left the stall. I could here water running, she returned with a wet paper towel.  
  
"Here clean up."  
  
I wiped off my face and the mascara that had run down my cheeks. I took some toilet paper and blew my nose, disgusted by what came out.  
  
"I threw up through my nose"  
  
With that Doctor Zebb let out of laugh and I joined her. He wasn't keeping me down, no, I wasn't going to give him that pleasure. I was going to show him who the real Faye Valentine was. Not a dime a dozen whore with no past and a mountain of debts; but a sophisticated, smart woman that had a hell of a voice and a hell of a future. With or without the company of a certain fuzzy haired bastard.  
  
"I don't want to join the company."  
  
"No?"  
  
"No, I wanna work here as a part-time waitress/singer."  
  
"Sounds good to me."  
  
I chuckled 'Me too.'  
  
She grabbed my hand and pulled me off the ground.  
  
"Shall we?"  
  
I laughed again, no way he's getting me down. I was a pillar, a pillar of strength named Faye Valentine. We linked arms and strutted out of the bathroom, laughing all the while.  
  
**Wrap-up Notes: I can't write for Spike, he's hard so I hope I did a half way decent job. I was a tad graphic about the vomiting, sorry if that grosses anybody out. But I only speak from personal experience. Please send in a review, it would make me mucho happy. PLEASE look at my other fics as well, the WK fic can be read by anyone who hasn't seen the series, it's really an odd little fic (but I like). My RK fic, The Middle Man, will eventually get updated but I'm reworking some of the plot in my head so that's currently at a standstill, but go read it anyway. Okay, I'm outie.  
  
MORE REVIEWS=HAPPY NINJA=FASTER UPDATES  
  
Snootch to the Nootch, y'all 


	6. Wink and a Smile

Standard disclaimers apply, I have a parking ticket and a phone bill to deal with now, please don't sue.  
  
**Author's Notes: *Sighs* I can't write for Spike, this is gonna be hard so bear with me for, well...the rest of the fic. Sorry about all those that read the last chapter BEFORE the re-edit, it was quite the grammar train wreck (well more so than usual I guess). I'd like to thank my anonymous friends Rei Woo, Dynamite, KawaiiAyu, Washu the not so signed in goddess, Apathy, and Mrs. Jenova, you guys haven't gotten the standard Ninja thanks like the others. Also thanks to those who read and haven't submitted a review, I'd LOVE it if you submit a review. If you don't feel like signing in, feel free to e-mail me and I'll put you on the update list. Second note: I can't write for Spike, again, I repeat I can't write for Spike. I didn't think this fic would be all that popular and I didn't really have much of a plot in mind. But its the best response of gotten to ANY of my other fics so the plot is kinda being made up as I go along (cross your fingers)  
  
Chapter 6~Wink and a Smile~  
  
It was Monday, my first official day as a waitress and singer at One World. I had avoided HIM all weekend, Friday was spent in Doctor Zebb's office and One World for training, Saturday I was at One World finishing my training, and Sunday was spent buying an entire new wardrobe. I woke up early, I had a lot to do before work today. Since Spike had left, Jet and I had worked out a system. I would get up and make breakfast and he was in charge of dinner. I had been neglecting my duty over the last couple of days, so I decided to make omelets, Jet's favorite, as a thank you. I was hovering over the counter still in my pj's slicing up onions for Jet's omelet. I flipped on my minidisk player and started back to the slicing.  
  
'I remember the days of just keepin' time  
  
Of hangin' around in sleepy towns  
  
Forever back roads, empty for miles'  
  
"Can't sleep?"  
  
I turned to see Spike plopping down on one of the bar stools. 'Shit' now I would have to talk to him. I'd done such a brilliant job of ignoring him too.  
  
"No, I'm making breakfast."  
  
"Ah, I see the great Faye Valentine finally "lowers" herself and does some work around here. Why couldn't you have made me breakfast when I was here, huh?"  
  
I decided to make no comment and just sing along to my music, I still wasn't ready to acknowledge his presence yet.  
  
'Well you can't have a dream and cut it to fit  
  
But when I saw you I knew  
  
We'd go together like a wink and a smile'  
  
I heard the click of a lighter and soon the smell of his cigarettes. I loved the smell of his cigarettes, I could smell them all day that mixed with his cologne. They were absolutely heavenly. I always understood why Julia would love this man, and try to find her way back to him. I would too if I were in her place. But I loathed her just the same for taking him away from me. It was kinda a freakish paradox.  
  
'So you can rev her up  
  
Don't go slow  
  
It's only green lights and all rights'  
  
"You're wearing my shirt."  
  
I stopped what I was doing at glanced down, 'I am wearing his shirt.' I had stolen it out of his closet, I found it helped me sleep after he had gone.  
  
"Ya got a problem with that?"  
  
"No, just making a point."  
  
'Let's go together with a wink and a smile  
  
give me a wink and a smile'  
  
"Right"  
  
I returned to my omelet, I turned and looked at him for the first time since he had been sitting there. He was wearing his usual pajama's a t- shirt and a pair of sweats. He was smoking a cig and looking back at me. We stayed that way for awhile, staring at each other as if we'd never met. I couldn't help but smile, he was here. Even though I still hated him for things he did, I was glad he was sitting there staring and me smoking a cigarette. He gave me a lopsided smile in return for mine, I swiveled back around to the stove.  
  
'We go together like a wink and a smile'  
  
"What do you want in your omelet?"  
  
'Now my heart is music  
  
Such a simple song  
  
Sing it again, the notes never end'  
  
"Cheese"  
  
"Just cheese? No veggies or ham?"  
  
"Nope, I'm a cheese man."  
  
'This is where I belong  
  
Just the sound of your voice the light in your eyes'  
  
"This song..."  
  
"What about it?"  
  
'We're so far away from yesterday'  
  
"I dunno..."  
  
"Don't back down on me Spiegel, WHAT about MY song?"  
  
'Together with a wink a smile'  
  
"It kinda reminds me of.....  
  
I was waiting for her name, 'Say it, just say it and get it over with.' My head was screaming, 'Damnit Spike say it!' The nausea was coming and the smell of the eggs and cheese hit me like a wave, only making me sicker.  
  
"...it reminds me of us, Faye"  
  
'We go together like a wink and a smile'  
  
**Wrap-up Notes: HAHAHAHAHA!! What a bad place to end!!! But that's all you get. I want more reviews, those of you out there that aren't putting in reviews better do it!!! Feel free to talk to me on aim under RedNinja001 or BlueThunderKuno2 (I'm on BlueThunder more). I would LOVE to talk anime with y'all. The song, well the version I have, is sung by Harry Conick Jr. (*sigh*) and it's called A Wink and a Smile. Again I suggest downloading it so you can get the feel of the scene.  
  
LOTS O' REVIEWS=HAPPY NINJA=FASTER UPDATES (and maybe longer chapters) 


	7. Her Majesty

Standard Disclaimers Apply, saving my money to by Michael Moore's TV Nation box set (If I can find it), please don't sue.  
  
**Author's Notes: That last chapter was REALLY short, I didn't realize how short it was until I actually posted it, ah well. I like short chapters, it's just how I work, sorry for those that don't like it. Thanks for the reviews guys! I'd love more *wink wink* Umm that's about it, talk to me on aim (RedNinja001 or BlueThunderKuno2) PLEASE submit a review!! I love 'em!  
  
IMPORTANT NOTE: READ THE WRAP-UP NOTES!  
  
Chapter 7~Her Majesty~  
  
In all my days as a bounty hunter I don't think I ever worked as hard as I did today. Doctor Zebb had said being a waitress would teach me patience, my response was I already had plenty of patience. But as I stand here in the shower, recalling the events of the day, I realized that I had NO patience. Unlike a bounty, I couldn't whip out a gun and hold it to the head of a customer if they were being a pain in my ass. I had to stand there with a smile on my face and wait for them to decided which flavoring they wanted in their latte. It was a nice feeling though, standing tired here in the shower, knowing that I had put in a full day of work and reaped the benefits from it. I found that I love being a waitress as well, I can read people like a book, so I act how they want me to act and get the big tips. It was like a little game I played in my head all day, I'd flirt with the guys, complement the women, or play with the kids. Whatever it took to get the biggest pay off in the end.  
  
I climbed out of the shower and dried off, I couldn't wait to get in bed. I had stayed late to help clean up and then the girls took me out for drinks as a 'welcome to One World' kinda thing. I slipped on my pajamas and walked down the hall to my room. I passed by his room and recalled the events of this morning.  
  
"It kinda reminds me of us, Faye"  
  
I didn't just blush, I was bright red for the entirety of the morning. I couldn't look at him without getting just a tad lightheaded. I couldn't help but wonder why he had said that. Why he thought we went together 'Like a wink and a smile.' Why not Julia? I was dying to ask him what was going on in that lunkheaded brain of his. But I didn't have nearly enough courage, well yet anyway. I had called doctor Zebb during my lunch break to poise the question to her.  
  
"What do you think he meant by that?"  
  
"I think it's pretty obvious Faye."  
  
"No, not me, not in that way..."  
  
"I don't know what he's thinking Faye. But he's obviously found something in you."  
  
"What about Julia? He was in love with her for YEARS!"  
  
"But she's dead Faye. Just like you moved on after his death, he's moved on after hers. And it looks like he's done some thinking."  
  
"Hmm, I didn't think that man could get over her."  
  
"People change, you've changed if you haven't noticed."  
  
"Turn and face the strange."  
  
"Exactly"  
  
So I figured, starting tomorrow, maybe. I would give him the benefit of the doubt and not act like such an ice queen to him. I was still standing there in front of his room, I heard a muffled cry through the door. I went to open the door, my hand hovered over the handle. I stood there knowing fully that opening this door meant opening myself to him, I quietly pushed the door open and stepped in. I looked down at his sleeping figure only to see him in a sweat, thrashing around. I walked over and sat on the bed unsure of what I could do for him, he had thrown off all of his blankets, he was so sweaty. I did the first thing that came into my mind. I gently took his head and set it on my lap. I gently combed through that unruly mop of hair. It wasn't working at all, he just kicked hard and his head jolted around in my lap. I did the next thing I could think of, sing.  
  
"Once was there was a way  
  
to get back homeward  
  
Once there was a way  
  
to get back home,  
  
sleep pretty darling do not cry  
  
and I will sing a lullaby  
  
Golden slumbers fill your eyes  
  
smiles await you when you rise  
  
sleep pretty darling do not cry  
  
and I will sing a lullaby  
  
Once there was a way  
  
to get back homeward  
  
Once there was a way  
  
to get back home,  
  
sleep pretty darling do not cry  
  
and I will sing a lullaby"  
  
He finally settled down, into a peaceful sleep.  
  
"Spike..."  
  
I quietly left his room, hoping I didn't wake him and made my way to my room. I laid in bed thinking about the events that just occurred, I worried for him. I don't know what he was dreaming, but it was obviously terrible. I wondered if he had dreams like that all the time and I just never cared enough to notice, or I was too afraid to notice. I fell asleep with a heavy weight of thoughts in my head.  
  
I woke up the next morning bright and early, I decided just to forget the events of last night and not bring it up. I cleaned up, ate breakfast, and left out a fruit salad for the boys for breakfast. I went to my room to do some relaxation yoga, another doctor Zebb suggestion. I was in my favorite position, one in which my legs were up on the wall and my back was laying flat on the floor with my arms extended at my sides. I was just getting into the relaxation breathing, when my door slid open. I didn't bother to open my eyes to greet whomever was there.  
  
"What were you doing in my room last night?"  
  
He sounded annoyed, well, more annoyed than usual. I didn't open my eyes and continued with my breathing  
  
"Excuse me?"  
  
"You know what I mean Faye, now stop messing around. What were you doing in my room last night?"  
  
"I don't know what you're talking about."  
  
There was a period of silence, I could tell he was ticked. I just didn't want to say anymore, I had hoped he wouldn't find out. This wasn't going according to my plan, so I ignored it, I'd blow it off.  
  
"Fine Faye, play that little game. When you feel like being a mature adult, come talk to me."  
  
He huffed out of the room and slammed the door. I sat up into simple sitting pose, I was pushing. I was a paradox, I pulled people in like I did last night, yet when they pull me, I push them away. I was like a brick wall, I wondered when I became this way. This cold, was it really all his fault or was I just using him as an excuse. Something to talk about in my next session I guess. I stood up, still pondering the current situation and headed off to work.  
  
It started the same as yesterday. I took my lunch break, and headed back onto shift. I went to take Meghan, another waitress's, place on shift.  
  
"You need to take table five, she just go here."  
  
"Can do."  
  
I walked over to table five and stopped dead in my tracks. The woman at the table was blonde, an angel and a devil. The woman I loved to hate, there in flesh and blood in front of me. I fought off every urge I had to sprint to the bathroom. She pulled off her dark sunglasses and looked at me.  
  
"Hello, Faye Valentine."  
  
**Wrap-up Notes: HAHAHAHA another cliffhanger!! I'm good at them. Song wise, if you don't know......heaven help you. It's Golden Slumbers, by the Beatles, it's a gorgeous song. You SHOULD have it already, but again if you don't go get it. Faye also quotes a line from Bowie, Changes (can ya pick it out?). Alright, I have alot of class work to do, if you want another update soon, you're gonna have to motivate me. That's right, REVIEW, if I get say....10, more reviews I'll procrastinate on my work and upload the next chapter. If I don't, I'm sorry you'll be waiting 'til Christmas Break......goodness I'm evil.  
  
LOT'S O' REVIEWS=HAPPY NINJA=FASTER UPDATES (for real this time!) 


	8. Shoot the Moon

Standard Disclaimers Apply as always, I'm broke as always, please don't sue.  
  
**Author's Notes: Let's all give a big thanks to Jcool who sent in 7 reviews to get this chapter posted. But after this the multi-review will no longer work, it'll have to be from 10 DIFFERENT people. But I didn't want to disappoint Jcool, so here's chapter 8!  
  
Chapter 8~Shoot the Moon~  
  
"SHE is here!"  
  
"Who Faye?"  
  
"HER!!"  
  
"Oh my God, Julia?"  
  
"YES!"  
  
"I thought she was dead?"  
  
"Well not anymore"  
  
"Are you alright?"  
  
"Yeah, I think so, she hasn't really talked to me. She just ordered."  
  
"Faye, table five order up."  
  
"Okay I have to go"  
  
"Good luck Faye. Don't let her take him from you."  
  
"Huh?"  
  
"You deserve Spike, don't let her take him from you in the in end"  
  
"...right"  
  
"Changes, Faye"  
  
"Turn and face the strange"  
  
"Call me later."  
  
"Faye this oolong tea for table 5 is getting cold! Let's go girl!"  
  
"Sorry"  
  
I grabbed Julia's order and walked over to her table. She smiled at me as I walked up, almost as if she knew she had gotten to me. 'Not that easy bitch.'  
  
"Here ya go"  
  
"I heard you sing"  
  
"Hmm?"  
  
"Sing, you do don't you?"  
  
"Yeah in a bit here."  
  
"I'm gonna cut the small talk Faye, and get right to the point, I need a favor."  
  
I glared at her suspiciously, not sure if I should take her up or not.  
  
"Sure"  
  
"Can you give this to Spike?"  
  
She handed me a simple envelope with Spike's name beautifully scrolled on the front.  
  
"No problem"  
  
I tucked it in the back pocket of my jeans.  
  
"Faye! Let's hit it!"  
  
That was my cue from the manager to begin singing. I took off my apron and headed towards the stage. For the first time I was scared, she stared at me intently with those blue eyes of hers. She was setting this all up, it was a game to her. Julia versus Faye for the affections of a fuzzy headed lunkhead of a man. I got a good round of claps as I stood on the stage, giving me some confidence against my rival.  
  
"Hello everyone, my name is Faye Valentine and I'll be singing for you during your lunch. Hope you don't mind."  
  
I gave a broad smile and nodded at my accompanist.  
  
"She's got it all figured out  
  
She knows what everything's about  
  
and well  
  
Anybody doubts her or sing songs without her  
  
She's just so mmm  
  
She knows the world is just her stage  
  
and so she'll never misbehave  
  
She gives thanks for what they gave her  
  
and man they practically made her  
  
into a mmm  
  
She's the one that stumbles when she talks about  
  
the seven foreign films that she's checked out  
  
She's such a fortunate fool  
  
She's just too good to be true  
  
She's such a fortunate fool  
  
She's just so mmm  
  
She's got it all figured out  
  
She knows what everything's about  
  
and well  
  
Anybody doubts her or sings songs about her  
  
She's just so mmm  
  
She's the one that stumbles when she talks about it  
  
so maybe we shouldn't talk about  
  
such a fortunate fool  
  
She's too good to be true  
  
She's such a fortunate fool  
  
She's just so mmm"  
  
I looked over at her table to see she had already left, 'Eat it bitch.' Meghan walked over to me.  
  
"The bitch at table five didn't leave you a tip."  
  
"Really? Hm, whore."  
  
"Exactly, by the way table seven would like to hear 'If I were a Bell,' they said it's really old. Have you heard it?"  
  
"Can do."  
  
"Good there's a big tip along with it."  
  
I stood back a the mic, with another out of character grin on my face.  
  
"This next song is by request."  
  
I gave my standard nod to the table and started up. Singing with and uncommon amount of zeal.  
  
"Ask me how do I feel now that were cosey and clinging  
  
well sir, all I can say if I were a bell I'd be ringing"  
  
I returned late again that night with one question on my mind 'Should I open it?' I sat on the yellow couch, no one was up, I could just put it in a new envelope and give it to him tomorrow. 'Good idea, Faye. All's fair in love and war.' I carefully pulled open the envelope to see a beautifully written letter.  
  
'Dearest Spike,  
  
I've been looking for you for quite some time. I heard your old friend had started singing at One World. I gave her this note to give to you, I hope it reaches you. I am still waiting Spike, I'll go with you anywhere, at anytime, just say the word. I need you and miss you Spike. We need each other. Meet me at One World coffee house on Friday of this week at eight. I heard your friend has a lovely voice. Why you bother spending your time with a brash woman like her is beyond me.  
  
With Love, Julia'  
  
I fought off every urge to tear the letter to shreds and throw it in his face. I started to read it again when someone entered the room.  
  
"Late night at work."  
  
Shit! I'm screwed, end of the line...  
  
"Yep"  
  
"Whatcha reading?"  
  
"Nothing"  
  
I tried to hide it behind my back, but I knew he would get it. He darted towards me and after a great deal of struggle, tore the letter from my hands. I backed away from him and turned around, I knew what was coming. I couldn't hide from it now.  
  
"Why were you reading this Faye?"  
  
I looked down at my feet. Searching for an explanation.  
  
"I dunno"  
  
"Yes you do! Why did you read my letter? Why did you come into my room last night?"  
  
I stood there fully aware that this was it. In this moment I could either lose him to her, or claim him as my own. To lose him was easy, I could stand here like I am now and ignore the situation. The latter was much more difficult, I had more practice lying and hiding my feelings than showing them. If I were to open up to him now, no lies, he'd see right through me and he'd go to her. I was afraid, so very afraid of this, 'Turn and face the strange, Faye.' I turned to see him walking away. I ran to him and threw my arms around him and buried my head in his chest. I cried, I believe for the first time in front of him, I stood there crying my eyes out. I waited for him to push away.  
  
"...Faye. Why?"  
  
"I was afraid, that's why I read the letter. I didn't want you to leave again. She says she needs you, but I need you too."  
  
He wrapped his arms around me waist and rested his chin on my head"  
  
"Why did you come into my room last night"  
  
"How did you know?"  
  
"I woke up as you were leaving"  
  
"You were having a nightmare."  
  
"I always have them"  
  
"It was terrible"  
  
"They always are"  
  
"I never noticed"  
  
"And you did last night?"  
  
"Yeah, you scared me."  
  
"What did you do to calm me down?"  
  
"I combed through your hair and sang to you. Like my mother did."  
  
He pulled back a bit and looked down at me, with a surprised look on his face.  
  
"You remember something?"  
  
"Just a little bit."  
  
"Tell me Faye"  
  
"She used to lay my head in her lap and sing a song to me. I can remember the song, but not what she looked like. And I can remember looking up at my ceiling and seeing stars."  
  
"Stars?"  
  
"Stars, on my ceiling. It sounds crazy I know."  
  
"No it doesn't, do you know the song Faye?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
"Can you sing it for me?"  
  
'There is a young cowboy he lives on the range  
  
His horse and his cattle are his only companions  
  
He works in the saddle and he sleeps in the canyons  
  
Waiting for summer his pastures to change  
  
And as the moon rises he sits by his fire  
  
Thinking about women and glasses of beer  
  
Closing his eyes as the doggies retire  
  
He sings out a song that is soft but its clear  
  
as if maybe someone could hear  
  
Goodnight moonlight ladies  
  
Rock-a-bye sweet baby James  
  
Deep greens and blues are the colors I'd choose  
  
Won't you let me go down in my dreams  
  
and rock-a-bye sweet baby James  
  
Now the first of december was covered with snow  
  
so was the turnpike from Stockbridge to Boston  
  
Though the birches seemed dream like on account of that frostin'  
  
with ten miles behind me and ten thousand more to go  
  
There's a song that they sing when they take to the highway  
  
a song that they sing when they take to the sea  
  
a song that they sing of their home in the sky  
  
Maybe you can believe it if it helps you to sleep  
  
but singing works just fine for me  
  
Goodnight moonlight ladies  
  
Rock-a-bye sweet baby James  
  
Deep greens and blues are the colors I'd choose  
  
Won't you let me go down in my dreams  
  
and rock-a-bye sweet baby James"  
  
I could feel water drops onto my head, he was crying too. Why did it take us so long to get here?  
  
"That....that was...beautiful Faye, absolutely beautiful."  
  
We pulled away and looked at each other with tear stained eyes. I leaned in and kissed him lightly on the cheek.  
  
"Goodnight Spike"  
  
"Goodnight Faye"  
  
"Sweet Dreams"  
  
**Wrap-up Notes: Okay that was a long chapter (well for me anyway) I want hmm, 15 reviews for the next one (if you want it before Christmas break). If I get 10 good ones from 10 different people I might reconsider. If I don't get it well, that means you won't get it much before the 19th of December. So its in YOUR hands!!! Oh oh songs, there were alot, the first was Fortunate Fool by Jack Johnson, If I were a Bell is from Guys and Dolls (I like the Harry Conick Jr. version), and the last is Sweet Baby James by James Taylor. Okay I'm outie!! 


	9. Your Song

Standard Disclaimers Apply as always, I'm not as broke as I thought but I'm still going to see Harry Potter with my parents so I don't have to pay, please don't sue.  
  
**Author's Notes: Okay you were 6 reviews short but I got AMAZING reviews from all of you!!! Thanks to my anonymous friends Alicia, Max's 1 only, Sagan Fox, and Blooknaburg. Thanks so much for supporting me through this fic. I first decided to write this as more of a therapy for myself and dealing with my problems. I can't tell you how much it means for me for this to be by far my most popular fic to date, I can't say it enough. THANK YOU!!  
  
As like all my fics, this is dedicated to Me-chan. I luv ya Meg, I couldn't laugh through half the shit that I do without you. Horny Prairie Chicken Dance Forever!  
  
Chapter 9~Your Song~  
  
I didn't have to be at work until noon on Friday so I decided to treat the guys to blueberry pancakes, my favorite. I was listening to a lot of lovey dovey songs as a result of, um recent events. Yes we were bad, not bad as in having sex and jumping each other every minute. But at the cute flirty stage, bringing me flowers at work, staying up all night talking about nothing. I was in my own little Faye heaven.  
  
'Don't want to be an actor pretending on the stage  
  
Don't want to be a writer with my thoughts an open page  
  
Don't want to be a painter cause everyone comes to look  
  
Don't want to be anything where my life's an open book'  
  
I was pouring the first few pancakes when a pair of warm arms wrapped around my waist and rested their chin on my shoulder.  
  
"Whatcha making?"  
  
"Blueberry pancakes"  
  
"My favorite"  
  
"Liar"  
  
"Are you calling me a liar?"  
  
"Yes Mr. Speigel I am"  
  
"Hmm well then I'm just gonna go sit over here all by myself then."  
  
"You go do that."  
  
'A dream it's true  
  
but I'd see it through  
  
If I could be wasting my time with you'  
  
It was the game we played, we were like to high schoolers in love for the first time. I loved every second of it.  
  
'Don't want be a farmer working in the sun  
  
Don't want to be an outlaw always on the run  
  
Don't want to be climber reaching for the top  
  
Don't want to be anything where I don't know when to stop'  
  
"Can I do yoga with you this morning?"  
  
"Excuse me!?"  
  
"I wanna do yoga with you, what's the big deal."  
  
"No"  
  
"Why not?"  
  
I turned around to see Spike with these terribly fake puppy dog eyes. I couldn't resist him.  
  
"As long as you don't say anything negative..."  
  
"I wouldn't dream of it"  
  
I rolled my eyes and he laughed, we both laughed.  
  
'A dream it's true  
  
but I'd see it through  
  
If I could be wasting my time with you'  
  
"What time do you work today?"  
  
"Noon"  
  
"Do you sing at all today?"  
  
"Tonight at eight."  
  
"Hm, alright"  
  
'So if I'm inside your head  
  
Don't believe what you might have read  
  
You'll see what I might have said'  
  
I had this pit of the stomach kind of fear that he was asking this to figure out when to meet Julia tonight. We hadn't talked about it at all. I knew he would go, I just hoped that I had given him enough reason to stay.  
  
'To hear it  
  
Come waste your time with me'  
  
"You gonna come?"  
  
"I dunno, maybe."  
  
'Come waste your time with me'  
  
After breakfast he joined me in my room for my relaxation yoga. We both laid there with our legs propped up against the wall with our backs on the floor and pillows under our butts. We didn't speak at all, but I already knew what or should I say who he was thinking of. At this point all I could do was pray he would make the right decision, and not leave with her. I reached out and took his hand in mine, he gave it a light squeeze. I heard the door open and looked up to see a very confused Jet.  
  
"So this is what young kids are doing these days."  
  
"Awww, c'mon Jet join us it's very relaxing"  
  
"Yeah Jet, it's not half bad."  
  
"No"  
  
"C'mon Jet, changes, turn and face the strange."  
  
Jet gave an exasperated sigh, grabbed a pillow and joined us on the floor. The three of us laid there in silence. My hand in Spike's, I reached out and grabbed Jet's hand too. Jet gave me another gentle squeeze, we were like a family. My big brother Jet and Spike, my......boyfriend? It didn't matter at the moment I guess, I just absorbed my surroundings.  
  
Work went along slowly but steadily. My mind was elsewhere, at quarter till eight she came in.  
  
"Faye, table five."  
  
I walked over to her. The battle would reach it's climax this evening. I had done my best, but I wondered if it could overcome his past.  
  
"Can I take your order?"  
  
"Black oolong tea."  
  
"Anything else?"  
  
"No I'm waiting for someone. A good friend of yours actually."  
  
She gave me this snide smile. 'Bitch'  
  
"Oh really, well that outta be fun."  
  
I went a gave her order to Sarah behind the counter. Meghan walked up next to me to place hers.  
  
"That bitch at table five is back I see. Hopefully she leaves a tip."  
  
"I can only pray."  
  
"We could always kick her ass for ya later, right Sarah?"  
  
"Totally"  
  
"Hm I may have to take you up on that."  
  
We all gave a good laugh and I took Julia's oolong tea to her. I dropped it off without a word.  
  
"Let's hit it Faye!"  
  
Open mic nights had changed to where I would sing a bit, then encourage others to come up and try to "out-sing" me. I took off my apron and saw my lunkheaded..um man enter the coffee shop. He scanned around the room. I looked back at the counter. I could feel is eyes looking at me from across the room. I looked to see him walk over to Julia's table and sit down.  
  
"New person on table five Sarah."  
  
"Okay, I got it Faye. Have fun out there."  
  
"I always do."  
  
I walked up on the small stage. Gave my usual smile and received my usual round of applause. I looked at their table Spike was clapping, Julia wasn't. 'As long as I have someone's attention.'  
  
"Welcome to open mic night at One World. My name is Faye Valentine and I'll be starting off the evening."  
  
"You've got the cool waters  
  
When the fever runs high  
  
You've got the look of love right in your eyes  
  
and I was a crazy motion  
  
'Til you calmed me down  
  
It took a little time but you calmed me down  
  
Some people never say the words 'I love you'  
  
it's not their style to be so bold  
  
Some people never say the words 'I love you'  
  
but like a child they're longing to be told  
  
They've got a wall in China  
  
It's a thousand miles long  
  
to keep out the foreigners that made it strong  
  
and I've got a wall around me  
  
that you can't even see  
  
It took a little time to get next to me  
  
When something goes wrong  
  
I'm the first to admit it  
  
the first to admit it  
  
the last one to know  
  
When something goes right  
  
well it's likely to loose me  
  
It's apt to confuse me  
  
'cause it's such an unusual sight  
  
I can't get used to something so right  
  
to something so right  
  
Some people never say the word 'I love you'  
  
it's not their style to be so bold  
  
Some people never say the words 'I love you'  
  
but like child I'm longing to be told  
  
They've got a wall in China  
  
and I've got a wall around me  
  
it took a little time to get next to me"  
  
I got an excellent round of applause. I looked at Spike to see a pair of mismatched eyes, that were slightly glossy. Tears?  
  
"Alright anybody up to the challenge?"  
  
A tall blonde figure walked towards the stage.  
  
"I'd love to take a try, Faye."  
  
**Wrap-up notes: Okay you know the drill I want 10 different reviews before the next chapter. I've got 2 papers and an final project to get done, ya gotta motivate me to ditch them. Songs, Waste by Phish and Something so Right by Annie Lennox (I think it's a cover, but doesn't matter get this version.) Okay all you got work to do, I'm outie! 


	10. So Much for the Afterglow

Standard Disclaimers Apply as always, I'm now saving up to find someone to tailor me robes like Alan Rickman wears in Harry Potter, please don't sue and destroy this poor college girl's dreams of dressing up like...um Snape.  
  
**Author's Notes: I poured through my HUGE Cd collection to find a song that Julia would sing to follow up Faye's. I think I found one....so here goes. Nothing else here, thanks bunches again for all the wonderful reviews.  
  
Chapter 10~So Much for the Afterglow~  
  
My manager jumped up on stage.  
  
"So we have a challenge and what's your name?"  
  
"Julia"  
  
"Someone special you're singing this for tonight?"  
  
"This is for the love of my life. I just want him to know I never stop thinking about him and that I'll love him until the day I die. We woke up out of that dream together, now I'd like to spend the rest of my reality with you."  
  
I stood there as she got a rousing round of claps. I stood with the mananger off to the side of the stage.  
  
"Let's see what this cutie can do, eh Faye?"  
  
"Right...."  
  
"Come away with me in the night  
  
Come away with me and I will write you a song  
  
Come away with me on a bus  
  
Come away where they can't tint us with their lies  
  
and I want to walk with you on a cloudy day  
  
in fields where the yellow grass grows knee high  
  
So won't you try to come  
  
Come away with me and we'll kiss on a mountain top  
  
Come away with me and I'll never stop loving you  
  
and I want to wake up in the rain falling on a tin roof  
  
While I'm safe there in your arms  
  
and all I ask  
  
is for you to come away with me in the night  
  
Come away with me"  
  
It was short, sweet, and absolutely beautiful. The audience replied with a standing ovation. My manager patted me on the shoulder.  
  
"Don't let it get you down Faye."  
  
I didn't care the audience had choosen her. I cared about one person. I searched through the croud for him, only to see him staring blankly at his table. I dreaded that look. That look meant indecision.....the worst thing in the world to me. I felt sick and high tailed it into the bathroom. 'Say good-bye to dinner.'  
  
I was hovering over the toliet in the handicapped stall. And within minutes my dinner and a good deal of bile had been flushed away. I was still short of breath and shaking, I was cursing myself for not having my communicator on me. I need the help of a professional at the moment. I knew I had lost him, it was just a matter of time, I guess. I don't now why I didn't see it. Why would he care for a woman like me? I heard someone open the door, I didn't really pay attention until he spoke.  
  
"Faye?"  
  
I acted like I wasn't there 'maybe he'll just go away.' He walked in front of the door and after some fumbling he stopped. His knees hit the floor and he slid under the stall and gave me a lop-sided smile.  
  
"You're so predictable, same stall even."  
  
"Go"  
  
"C'mon Faye"  
  
He slid all the way under and crawled over to me with a piece of wet paper towel. He lightly took my chin and started wiping of the vomit, tears, make-up, and whatever else.  
  
"You don't have to do this ya know."  
  
"It's my fault your in here isn't it?"  
  
I looked down at the floor as he finished his work on my face.  
  
"I'll take that as a yes.....Jet told me."  
  
"Told you what?"  
  
"About the attacks, the therapist."  
  
"How did he know?"  
  
"He's not stupid Faye"  
  
I grunted in ascent, suddenly realizing how close he WAS sitting to me. He had finished his task but he still sat less than an inch away from me.  
  
"I'm sorry Faye, I didn't mean to do that to you."  
  
He had his head on my shoulder and an arm around my waist.  
  
"I used to hate you for it. I truly did, I thought if you ever came back I'd beat you to a pulp and never speak to you again."  
  
"That sounds about right."  
  
"But thanks to some..um outside help, I realized if you ever came back I'd probably just kiss you and hug you and praise God, wherever he is, that you're back. "  
  
"Why the change"  
  
"Turn and face the strange Spike"  
  
"Huh?"  
  
"I didn't want to live my entire life hating you. I've always wanted a past, I would have done the same if I were you."  
  
"So I have one question for you."  
  
"Shoot"  
  
"Where's my kiss?"  
  
I turned at looked at him, I got a lopsided smile. I leaned down to kiss him and he stopped me.  
  
"There's something I have to say Faye"  
  
"Julia"  
  
"It's not what you think. Let me explain okay?"  
  
I turned so I faced him, he was looking at the floor....never a good sign.  
  
"Julia is in trouble. The leftover syndicate members found her and are blaming her for the deaths of me and Vicious."  
  
"Oh, but she is...."  
  
"Faye, I have to go with her. Maybe if they see I'm alive they won't kill her. I can't let her die for real this time, it really would be my fault then"  
  
"But what if they blame both of you for Vicious's death?"  
  
"Blast out of there"  
  
"What about me? Where do I fit into this plan?"  
  
He scooted closer to me, filling the gap once again.  
  
"Well, I say you wait here with Jet and when I come back..."  
  
"You're not planning to die again?"  
  
"Ha, no, not this time Faye."  
  
I wrapped his lanky arms around my waist and buried his face in my neck.  
  
"I promise I'll come back."  
  
"Don't promise me Spike."  
  
He pulled back and looked at me, he smiled again and returned to his head to my neck  
  
"I WILL come back Faye."  
  
"Good."  
  
I draped my arms over his shoulders and we sat there very akwardly....but comfortable none the less.  
  
"So that kiss I was gonna get?"  
  
"Hold your horses cowboy."  
  
I leaned down to kiss him when the bathroom stall flung open. It was her  
  
"Are we going or what?"  
  
"I'm gonna get my kiss"  
  
"Your what?!"  
  
I couldn't help but smile at her 'Eat it bitch'  
  
"We're not leaving til tommorow morning, Jules. Go back to your hotel and meet me at the Bebop tommorow morning."  
  
She shot daggers down at me, I kept smiling.  
  
"Fine, I'll wait for you outside. I still have some things to say to you. When you finish with the whore, I'll see you out there."  
  
That was IT! I started to stand up to go after her, but Spike pulled me back down.  
  
"Don't waste your time Faye"  
  
"You don't think I could take her do you?"  
  
He went back to nuzzling my neck.  
  
"No you could"  
  
"Taking in count our current position, I don't think I believe you."  
  
"Well you see, if you go beat the shit out of Julia, you'll have to leave this position. And then I won't ever get my kiss."  
  
"It's gonna taste like vomit"  
  
"I don't care."  
  
"Are you sure you want it from the likes of me."  
  
He pulled back and gave me a harsh stare.  
  
"Don't let her win Faye. You're not a whore, you never will be. I know that and Jet knows it, that's all that matters, right?"  
  
"But...."  
  
"She's just jealous she never kissed me on a bathroom floor after she threw up."  
  
I smiled and granted his much await request. It wasn't much of a kiss, but it was beautiful. Simple, clean, and beautiful.  
  
"Why me Spike?"  
  
"Look at you! Who wouldn't?"  
  
"I mean it"  
  
"Okay, I did some thinking while I was gone. I couldn't help but realize that all that time on the Bebop there was something there. Some spark between us, I'd never fought like that with anyone, I'd never worried about anyone as much as I worried about you. The pieces just fell into place, I guess. That's when I high tailed it back to the Bebop. Only to find Jet getting ready to see you sing. And there you were, looking as beautiful as ever, but something changed within you too. I knew you had been doing some thinking. You got outside help, but I won't hold that against you."  
  
I smiled and gave him a gentle punch in the arm. He grabbed my hand and pulled me up of the bathroom floor.  
  
"How did she get into the stall anyway?"  
  
"Nails, Spike"  
  
"Hmm, I can see how they would come in handy."  
  
He kept ahold of my hand as we walked outside the bathroom. Julia shot me as many daggers as she possibly could, but it didn't matter. The great Faye Valentine had won by a landslide. My manager found me followed by Meghan and Sarah.  
  
"Faye....thought you were sick."  
  
"Woah Faye!"  
  
"Does he have any friends Faye?"  
  
"I thought you were sick! Why aren't you singing?!"  
  
"I was sick"  
  
"Right Faye"  
  
"I'll go sing, alright?"  
  
"Good, I'm gonna check the bathroom from now on."  
  
Spike leaned over and gave me a light kiss on the cheek.  
  
"Have fun out there"  
  
"I always do."  
  
I walked up the stage, Julia had found her way to Spike and was pulling at his arm, yelling stuff in his ear. But unfortunately, I Faye Valentine the pillar of strength and beauty, had all of his attention.  
  
"Sorry about that everyone. This next song about changes, turning and facing the strange, if you will"  
  
"Still dont know what I was waiting for  
  
and my time was running wild  
  
a million dead end streets  
  
and everytime I thought I had it made  
  
it seemed the taste was not so sweet  
  
So I turned myself to face me  
  
but I've never caught a glimpse  
  
how the others must see a faker  
  
I'm must to fast to take that test  
  
Ch-ch-ch-changes  
  
Turn and face the strange  
  
Ch-ch-ch-changes  
  
Don't want to be a richer man  
  
Ch-ch-ch-changes  
  
Gonna have to be a different man  
  
Time may change me  
  
But I can't trace time  
  
Watch ripples change their size  
  
but never leave the stream of warm impermanence  
  
and so the days float through my eyes  
  
but the days still seem the same  
  
And these children that you spit on  
  
as they try to change their worlds  
  
Are quite immune to your consultations  
  
They're quite aware of what they're going through  
  
Ch-ch-ch-changes  
  
Turn and face the strange  
  
Ch-ch-ch-changes  
  
Don't tell them to grow up and out of it  
  
Ch-ch-ch-changes  
  
Where's your shame  
  
You've left us up to our necks in it  
  
Time may change me  
  
but you can't trace time  
  
Strange fascinations, fascinating me  
  
Changes are taking the pace I'm going through  
  
Ch-ch-ch-changes  
  
Turn and face the strange  
  
Ch-ch-ch-changes  
  
Oh look out you rock 'n rollers  
  
Ch-ch-ch-changes  
  
Pretty soon youre gonna get older  
  
Time may change me  
  
but I can't trace time  
  
I said that time may change me  
  
but I can't trace time"  
  
**Wrap-up notes: Songs, Come Away with Me by Norah Jones and Changes by David Bowie (the coolest man alive!). I need motivation people! So send me a review and I'll forget the 2 papers and HUGE final project I have to do and write more for you! Okay I'm outie! 


	11. A little author inspired detour

Author's Side note (PLEASE READ):  
  
Okay, just wanted to take a little break to say a few things. Firstly all chapters have been revised, no big changes. I just fixed some bad spelling and grammar and funky sentences. After the next chapter, I'll probably update one or two more times before I leave for break. Unfortunately I will not post anything over break. I don't update from home, the good news is that by the time I get back the story should be pretty much completed. At that point it's just a matter of posting them.  
  
A few words on my Julia:  
  
From the reviews I've been getting I see most people don't like Julia. I have mixed feelings on Julia myself. I don't particularly like what she does to Spike, if I had my own little Spike I would definitely run away with him. But I don't particularly hate her as a character because we don't ever really get to know her as a character. She's a bit of an enigma. So I took my own creative license to give her some personality and character. Okay that's all I have to say about that.  
  
Notes of Thanks:  
  
I just wanna thank all of you that have taken the time to review my fic here. I can't tell you how much it means to me. I've kinda taken Faye and injected my own problems and discomforts in her. I've made her a projection of myself in a way. To have this story do so well is an amazing feeling. I can't tell you how many times I've almost cried from reading your wonderful and supportive reviews. They bring up my whole day. Some individual review thanks:  
  
Thanks to the people that have stuck with this story since to beginning: ~Mrs. JENOVA (my first reviewer) ~Reno Spiegel ~Rei Spiegel (I swear you and Reno are the same person! You always review one after the other. Or maybe it's just some evil plot to confuse me) ~Randalbezerker (I never tire of a Clerks reference) ~Trunkz ~JCool  
  
The people I haven't heard from in a bit, but I hope you're still with the story: ~Apathy ~SpaceyLilCowgirl ~Gren44 ~Rei Woo ~SephirothSpirit ~Dynamite ~cOWGIRLfunk ~Sagan Fox ~Blooknaburg ~star-crystals ~FoXy_LaDy ~Cool Girl 2001 ~alicia ~Reo ~DeadeyeDick ~Max's 1 Only  
  
And last but not least, my new reviewers: ~catleya ~The Cheshire Cat's Smile ~benito the little devil ~LoveHina ~ShelleyMoon ~amazed  
  
Thanks again guys! I hope I didn't leave anyone out, next chapter will be up this afternoon or evening or tommorow. 


	12. In Other Words

Standard Disclaimers apply, saw Bowling for Columbine (amazing) purchased both season of the Awful Truth (expensive), I'm broke please don't sue  
  
**Author's Notes: Okay here's the real 11th chapter. Sorry for the detour, I just felt the need to take a little break before this chapter. This chapter is a bit on the short side, but I'll post another ASAP. I have the next 2 chapters ready, so it won't take too long (I hope).  
  
Chapter 11~In Other Words~  
  
It was one of those kind of mornings that I didn't even want to get out of bed, hell I didn't even want to open my eyes. But unfortunately I had to, I had to see him off. My eyes flittered open to see to mismatched brown eyes staring down at me. I sat up with a start and I slammed foreheads with Spike.  
  
"Good morning to you too Faye."  
  
I rubbed my forehead, glanced over at his standing figure. He was wearing a pink apron of Jet's and holding a bowl of batter. He was furiously rubbing his head as well.  
  
"Damn that hurt Faye"  
  
"You shouldn't hover over people's beds like some angel of death."  
  
"So I'm an angel of death am I?"  
  
"Yes, the worst kind of angel."  
  
"As opposed to what other kinds of angels?"  
  
"Good angels, ya know, with the harps dressed all in white"  
  
"Oh, well I'd much rather be an angel of death. I hate harps....and white"  
  
He laughed at his own wittiness, then leaned down and kissed me on the cheek.  
  
"You can be the angel that plays the harp."  
  
"I don't want a harp!"  
  
"Sorry, you're stuck with it. Now get yer ass outta bed missy and help me with this stuff."  
  
"Alright Alright"  
  
He turned and walked out of the room, mumbling  
  
"I thought this was suppose to be your job anyway."  
  
"I'm coming okay! Hold your horses cowboy!"  
  
I joined him a few minutes later, still in my pajamas. I had decided to brush my teeth in case...well in case. I entered the kitchen just in time to see him flip the entire bowl of batter on to his pants.  
  
"For Christ sakes!"  
  
He turned around to see me with the biggest grin on my face.  
  
"Don't you say a word"  
  
"I...hehe...wouldn't dream...hehe....of it Spike."  
  
And with that I burst out laughing. He looked slightly pissed off then looked down to further examine the mess on his pants. Within a few seconds I was on the floor laughing so hard I was crying. Jet then decided to make an appearance in the kitchen.  
  
"What the hell is so.....oh my God......"  
  
Jet started sniggering, which turned into a full laugh within seconds.  
  
"Thanks for the support Jet."  
  
"No problem, God Spike you really are a dumbass"  
  
"A what!?!"  
  
"Now don't be so hard on him Jet, he's not a dumbass just a klutz"  
  
"I suppose you're right on that one"  
  
We continued making cracks at Spike's expense until he abruptly turned towards the counter. He made this girly 'Huff' noise, the kind little girls use when they're upset because the boys keep teasing her.  
  
"Aww don't be that way Spike"  
  
I walked over still slightly chuckling and wrapped my arms around him from the back. I gave him a light kiss on the cheek as well.  
  
"I'm sorry little girl I didn't mean to hurt your feelings"  
  
"Little touchy this morning eh Spike?"  
  
I rested my head on his chin and whispered in his ear.  
  
"Aww don't be this way baby...."  
  
And with that I got a face full of batter and it was Spike's turn to laugh at me.  
  
After our meager breakfast of cereal, I hit the shower to get all of the remaining batter out of my hair.  
  
I was putting my make-up and I heard someone enter the dock. My head was screaming 'No....not yet, not yet!' I ran from the bathroom, only to run into Spike carrying his bags."  
  
"Spike...."  
  
"Faye...."  
  
We looked at each other, not sure what to say. Not sure what the appropriate thing was to say. On any normal day he would have made a crack about it being the second time I'd ran into him today. But today wasn't a normal day, therefore jokes just didn't seem right. Jet finally broke the silence between the two of us.  
  
"Spike your..um 'guest' is here."  
  
We both started to walk slowly down the corridor of the ship into the living room. He hesitantly reached out and took my hand in his. And somehow that spoke the thousands of words between us that we couldn't say. We entered the living area to see her there, I couldn't help but notice what a beautiful woman she really was. Any man would find her absolutely breathtaking. It upset me to know that out of all the men in the universe to cling to she had to choose mine.  
  
"About time, let's go Spike."  
  
She was a lot calmer today, like the first time I met her. Calm, cool, and collected the perfect match for Spike.  
  
"Sorry, rough morning."  
  
Jet and I couldn't help but snigger at the reference to the batter incident.  
  
"Well Jet, I'll be seein' ya"  
  
With that Spike reached out and shook Jet's hand.  
  
"Leave my room open, k?"  
  
"Wouldn't dream of giving it away. Though I might clean it, it reeks in there."  
  
"Better you than me."  
  
He turned with those brown eyes of his a gazed at me. He walked over, took both my hands in his, and kissed lightly kissed cheek then my lips. He leaned over to whisper in my ear. But surprised me and sang in a low, husky voice that was barely above a whisper.  
  
"Goodnight moonlight ladies  
  
Rock-a-bye sweet baby James  
  
Deep greens and blues are the colors I'd choose  
  
Won't you let me go down in my dreams  
  
and rock-a-bye sweet baby James"  
  
He pulled back and walked up the stairs to the docks. He gave the both of us one last grin and closed the door. Jet and I stood in total silence as we listened to the cruisers leave the ship. Jet patted me on the shoulder, he looked at me with glossy eyes searching for words. He looked for anything he could say that would help me make sense of all of this, I didn't know why he felt the need to do that. I wasn't crying, maybe it was some kind of instinct, or just flat out common sense.  
  
"He'll be back"  
  
Jet kept walking and continued on into his room. I sat there looking for answers. I touched my cheek where he had kissed me only to feel a stream of wetness. 'I am crying.'  
  
"And rock-a-bye sweet baby James"  
  
**Wrap-up notes: Okay, that's it for tonight. Next chapter will probably be up on Wensday of this week. For those who aren't review, please do. HELP PUSH ME OVER 70!!! And for those that do, I luv ya for it! Okay, I'm outie.  
  
Oh Oh! Again, Sweet Baby James is the song, by James Taylor. It's one of those songs you SHOULD have. If ya don't go get it. I use it alot in this piece because 1) it's a beautiful song and 2) it was my lullaby when I was a kid. Sappy I know, I'm just feeling nostalgic, so sue me (well don't actually, broke remember?) 


	13. Dead in the Water

Standard Disclaimers Apply, the stupid bookstore doesn't seem to want to help me pay for all my Christmas presents this year.....stupid buyback, broke as always don't sue.  
  
**Author's Note: Okay this is a REALLY short chapter but I really wanted to end it here. It's kinda odd, I originally planned this to end the last chapter. But I didn't like it there. Then I was gonna continue on with this one but that didn't seem right either. So this is a stand alone kinda thing. The next full length chapter will be up by Tuesday. But for now enjoy this little interlude. Thanks for all your wonderful reviews too, I'm sorry I haven't gotten back to anybody (finals are killing me). Oh, watch the quotation marks, those are the song, non-quoted stuff is Faye talking.  
  
Chapter 12~Dead in the Water~  
  
It was October, he had left in July.  
  
"This ruined puzzle is beige with the pieces all faced down  
  
so the placing goes slowly  
  
the picture of anything  
  
other than it's meant to be"  
  
I'm sitting here on stage in front of my usual lunch crowd, strumming my guitar and singing another sad song.  
  
"But the hours they creep  
  
patterns repeat  
  
Don't be concerned  
  
I know I'll be fine on my own"  
  
He hadn't contacted me since he left.  
  
"I never said don't go'  
  
don't go"  
  
I had learned to play guitar. Karen, one of the waitresses, taught me during our breaks.  
  
"But I've hidden a note  
  
it's pressed between pages  
  
that you've marked to find your way back"  
  
I went back down in a hole after he left, it wasn't that deep. I figured I'd be at the top in no time.  
  
"It says,  
  
does he ever get the girl?"  
  
But then he never called, hell he never wrote. He could be dead in a gutter on the street and I wouldn't know. I sunk deeper and deeper into my own hole of a life.  
  
"But what if the pages stay pressed,  
  
the chapters unfinished,  
  
the stories too tough to unfold  
  
Does he ever get the girl?"  
  
After a solid month of depression, it got better. I accepted that it was never meant to be.  
  
"Well this basement's a coffin  
  
I'm buried alive  
  
I'll die here just to be safe  
  
just to be safe"  
  
I pitied myself, I was sorry I ever believed in him again. I was mad that I let myself become so swayed by his kisses.  
  
"Cause you're gone  
  
and I get nothing  
  
and you're off with barely a sigh"  
  
The wall around me had been rebuilt. Only Jet and Doctor Zebb were allowed back in. I would have been utterly alone if it weren't for them. Hell, I'd probably be dead if they weren't there for me.  
  
"I never said good-bye  
  
but I've hidden a note  
  
it's pressed between pages  
  
that you'll read if you're so inclined  
  
Does he ever get the girl?"  
  
I finally was starting to convince myself that being with him was a dream. And unlike him I refused to stay in that dream, I wanted to live in reality.  
  
"The hours they creep  
  
the patterns repeat  
  
don't be concerned  
  
I know I'll be fine own"  
  
Right now was reality. Faye Valentine without a lover, Faye Valentine being the pillar of strength she was meant to be.  
  
"I never said don't go  
  
Don't go"  
  
But I couldn't help but notice how fake this reality seemed.  
  
"Does he ever get the girl?"  
  
**Wrap-up Notes: Sorry that's it for tonight, please be kind and review. The song is called "This Ruined Puzzle" by Dashboard Confessionals. Again I suggest downloading it to help with the chapter. Again PLEASE review!!! 


	14. Hard Day's Night

Standard Disclaimers Apply, I am so very broke after buying many presents for many people, please don't sue  
  
**Author's Notes: Wa ha! Finals are now over! *Does special booty shakin' dance* It is now December 26th, and after a wirlwind of holiday activity I've returned to writing. I have a brand spakin' new iPod which I am delitefully filling with songs. I've also watched ALL of Full Metal Panic and then decided to go in search of fanfics. I was disappointed to only find 1 fic on this site that SUCKED. So I have resolved to write one myself, so coming soon my Full Metal Panic romantic comedy! Wa ha! I won't push this story aside though, do not fear! On with the show!  
  
Chapter 12~A Hard Day's Night~  
  
I was most definitely hung over. Jet had convinced me we needed to have a good time for once, maybe it was because he brought in a huge bounty. I drank much more than I had ever intended to, because I don't remember most of the later half of the evening. But Jet does, and I must have yelled 'Tally Ho!' quite a bit, that's all he said to me this morning and sniggered each time. But like a good man he won't tell me why. Unfortunately I choose my busiest day to be hung over. I worked until 3 then had a doctor's appointment until 4:30 then back here to work again. It was also Jet's birthday. It came up during our fourth round of drinks last night. That didn't give me much time to think of a gift. I opted to get something engraved for him. I went to the jewlery store and bought him a lovely silver lighter. I had it engraved on the front with 'Jet Black, the best drinking buddy and friend anyone could ever ask for' and on the back 'With Love from Faye, your lifetime commrade whether you like it or not.' The jewler thought I was nuts, but I think he'll enjoy it.  
  
"Table seven Faye"  
  
Life had pretty much continued on, without him. I hadn't really decided if that okay with me or not. Part of me knew it was never meant to be, but the other half kept telling me to go get him. It's pretty obvious who I sided with, I'm still here waiting tables and singing romantic love songs to couples. I still longed to be one of those people. Going to little coffee houses together, holding hands......getting married.  
  
"I'll have a double latte with cherry and vanilla"  
  
Yeah married, think what you may but it's always been a dream of mine. Finding the perfect man, buying a house, having children...just being happy. I wanted to belong, I wanted someone to cry for me when I die, is that too much to ask?  
  
"I'll have a mocha, no whip cream please"  
  
I never thought of myself as the marrying type, I still don't think I am. You don't bring Faye Valentine, daughter of no one, home to meet the folks. But I still wanted it, no I needed that person with me.  
  
"Sonia, double latte with cherry and vanilla and a mocha no whip."  
  
"Right-o Faye, hey you want a lesson during lunch?"  
  
I had learned so much working here, not just patience but other stuff. Karen had taught me to play guitar, Sonia was teaching piano, Meghan was helping with my singing, and Sarah was teaching my chess. I taught them cards, it's the only skill I had.  
  
"Nah, doctor's"  
  
"Okay, how bout tommorow then?"  
  
"Sounds good to me"  
  
An hour later I was sitting cross-legged on a couch in front of Doctor Zebb.  
  
"Jet's birthday huh?"  
  
"Yeah, he's coming to see me sing tonight then I'm making him his favorite dinner."  
  
"What is his favorite dinner?"  
  
"Meatloaf"  
  
"Meatloaf?"  
  
"Meatloaf"  
  
She hesitantly nodded and wrote it down...for later reference? Now wait a sec why would she care what Jet likes.....Oooh  
  
"You wanna join us?"  
  
She jumped a bit and stared up at with me with a definite blush.  
  
"Could I? I don't mean to intrude..."  
  
"It's no big deal, it's kinda lonely just the two of us. Not really much of a birthday celebration and all. I wish he would come back, it would mean alot to Jet."  
  
"You still thinking about him Faye?"  
  
"I can't help myself. His memory won't let me be. I wake up thinking 'This could be the day,' but it never is. I just cry myself to sleep and hope maybe tommorow, but my tommorow's are always the same."  
  
The little timer on her desk sounded.  
  
"Shit, time's up Faye. We'll talk more next week, k?"  
  
"Right....don't forget about tonight."  
  
"Right.....and Faye."  
  
"Hm?"  
  
"Give yourself a freakin' break, you deserve it."  
  
"Sure, see you later."  
  
'Give myself a break?!?' What the hell was that suppose to mean? I returned to the doldrum of work in attempt to keep my mind off of Spike I plotted ways to get Jet and Doctor Zebb together. It kept my mind occupied for a time, but I stopped for a second and his face came back to me. It was like when you die and your life is suppose to flash before your eyes, our relationship ran through my brain. I went through all the 'what if's' and the 'if I had only's.' That lasted the rest of the afternoon. At 7:30 almost on cue Doctor Zebb and Jet walked into the shop. She was smitten with him, she was laughing I'm sure at one of Jet's lame bounty stories. He spotted me and gave a wave. Sarah seated them and I walked over, gift in hand.  
  
"You bought me a gift?"  
  
"Of course dumbass, why wouldn't I?"  
  
"I dunno"  
  
"Here, c'mon open it!"  
  
I thrusted in his face with a broad smile. He slowly, almost hesitantly opened the present as if he wasn't sure what embarrassing thing I found. He stared at it for a second, trying to decifer the inscription and he laughed. He stood up and hugged me, still laughing.  
  
"It's perfect Faye"  
  
"Good"  
  
I gave him a light kiss on the cheek.  
  
"Well if you'd excuse me I'm gonna go sing so we can go home and eat."  
  
"What are you making tonight Faye?"  
  
"Suprise"  
  
"Hmm, I don't like the sound of that."  
  
"Well you should"  
  
I walked up to the stage and took my seat at an old black, upright piano.  
  
"Evening everyone, I've got a short set for you tonight. Before I start I'd like to wish a happy birthday to my best friend Jet. C'mon stand up Jet."  
  
Jet shot me the 'I'm gonna kill you for this' look and stood up for the audience. After returning to his seat I started up again.  
  
"He is single ladies and is one mean dancer. He enjoys bounty hunting and bonsai trees. He's looking for an intersting twenty something that won't spend all his money like I do. If you need a phone number don't be afraid to ask. This one is for you Jet."  
  
"Oh the smell of the bakery from across the street  
  
Got in my nose  
  
As we carried ladders down the street  
  
With rought iron gate rows  
  
I went home and listened to Jimmy Rogers in my lunch break  
  
Bought five Woodbines at the shop on the corner  
  
and went straight back to work  
  
Oh Sam is up on top  
  
and I was down on bottom with the v  
  
We went for lemonade and Paris buns  
  
at the shop and broke for tea  
  
I collected the lady  
  
and cleaned the fanlight inside-out  
  
I was blowing saxophone on the weekends  
  
in that down joint  
  
What's my line?  
  
I'm happy cleaning windows  
  
Take my time  
  
I'll see you when my love grows  
  
Baby don't let it slide  
  
I'm a working man in my prime  
  
Cleaning windows  
  
I heard Leadbelly and Blind Lemon  
  
On the street where I was born  
  
Sonny Terry, Brownie McGhee  
  
Muddy Waters sing "I'm a Rolling Stone"  
  
I went home and read my Christmas Humphreys' book on Zen  
  
Curiosity killed the cat  
  
Keruac's "Dharma Bums" and "On the Road"  
  
What's my line?  
  
I'm happy cleaning windows  
  
Take my time  
  
I'll see you when my love grows  
  
Baby don't let it slide  
  
I'm a working man in my prime  
  
Cleaning windows..."  
  
Jet stood up and clapped louder than anyone. I stood to give a little bow when a flash of red hair tumbled from somewhere in the crowd. I squinted my eyes, 'no it couldn't be.' But then I swear I heard someone yell.  
  
"Way to go Faye-Faye!"  
  
I blinked again watching the red head move steady towards me then WHAM! Someone tackled me and I hit the deck.  
  
**Wrap-up Notes: I don't like the song choice, but I had a really hard time finding a good song for Faye to sing to Jet. The song is Cleaning Windows by Van Morrison, good stuff and highly reccomended. I made this one into a cliffhanger again, I seem to have a knack for it. Okay dok then! Let's get some reviews!!! 


	15. Simple Pages

Standard Disclaimers Apply, me and my iPod are happy in our broken state, please don't sue.  
  
**Author's Notes: It is January 5th and I'm here working on this chapter. I still don't enjoy the song I choose for the last chapter but ah well, maybe something will come to me. I just watched Serial Experiments Lain for the first time, and I didn't like it in the least. I kind thought it was stupid, but maybe it's just me. I am working on a Middle Man (my RK story) update.....so enjoy this chappie!  
  
Chapter 13~Simple Pages~  
  
I got back to the ship around 2 or so only to find Jet's ship gone from the hanger. I walked inside and saw Ed sprawled out on the couch asleep. Ein was on the ground, asleep as well. I put my bag down and walked up to the back of the couch and peered over at sleeping Ed. I think it was some kind of sign or something that she came back. I was really lost without her, which seemed impossible since she rarely made sense. But in some ways she was the only voice of reason on this ship. Words could barely express the happiness she brought to me by merely showing her face again. I almost didn't recognized her when she tackled me last night. Her hair was still red and a mess, but instead of waves, it was all loose curls. She was still as skinny and childish looking as ever but she wore a pale blue hooded sweatshirt and a pair of loose jeans. In the face she was still young, but she looked more grown-up than ever.  
  
"Hey Ed"  
  
She kept sleeping.  
  
"HEY Ed"  
  
Still sleeping, I proceeded to shake her shoulders gently in attempts to wake her. She rolled to her side and murmured some obscure numbers.  
  
"Ed, wake up bud."  
  
She still slept, alright then drastic measures must be taken. I walked around the couch and grabbed one of the seat cushions, then pulled. Ed toppled onto the floor, her eyes shot open.  
  
"Morning Faye-Faye!"  
  
'Completely unaffected' but did I expect anything less really?  
  
"Afternoon Ed. Where's Jet?"  
  
"Kitchen...table....note"  
  
"Can you just tell me?"  
  
"Jet-person wanted to get supplies for Bebop"  
  
"Really?"  
  
Ed then thrust her shoulders back and marched around saying in her Jet 'voice.'  
  
"If no one in ship is going to get food then I will!"  
  
"Got it"  
  
"Ed is bored Faye-Faye"  
  
"Hmmm well, what does Ed want to do then?"  
  
"Street singing!"  
  
"Street singing?"  
  
"Edward will show Faye-Faye"  
  
Ed walked, no more like pranced over to her computer to show me a video of a man playing a guitar on the street for money.  
  
"Oh, street singing, I get it. Why this all of a sudden?"  
  
"Edward saw TV show on street singers, now Ed wants to street sing too!"  
  
"Hmm, alright then, we'll go street sing Ed."  
  
"Yippee yeah! Ed is street singer amazing-o!"  
  
"Okay Ed, go get some shoes on..."  
  
"And sockees?"  
  
"Of course socks, then get something to hold the money."  
  
"Will Roger, Faye-Faye!"  
  
She saluted and ran to get her stuff, within 20 minutes Ed, Ein, my guitar, and I were on our way to street sing. We opted to walk instead of fly, I felt it would be a better chance to scope out possible singing venues.  
  
"Where are we going Ed, the street or the subway..."  
  
"Su-u-ubway!"  
  
"Alright then let's get to it"  
  
We walked another mile to the nearest subway entrance and went down the old, dirty cement stairs. After some debate we choose to sit in front of a cement pillar amid the main station and seating area. I had brought a small box to sit on, which I set up while Ed pulled out the bongos that she had found somewhere in the ship. We set out the large bowl Ed had found in one of the pantries and assigned Ein guard duty.  
  
"What do you want to sing Ed?"  
  
"A good song."  
  
"There are alot of good songs Ed"  
  
"Well then pick one Faye-Faye."  
  
"Okay, give me a sec."  
  
I sat and racked my brain for an idea while people had started to gather waiting for a song. I'm sure we made an amusing group.  
  
"Fell asleep with my clothes on  
  
Dropped my keys on the front lawn  
  
Waking up I watch the drool a gleaming  
  
From my mouth to the carpet  
  
Giving up never felt so good  
  
Welcome to plan B  
  
I eat some moldy bread  
  
Then I'm going back to bed  
  
I know how this day will crescendo  
  
I'll fall asleep while I play Nintendo  
  
Giving up never felt so good  
  
Welcome to plan B  
  
Giving up what is the likelihood?  
  
That life could be so free  
  
Up 'til now in my life I have failed all the time  
  
It's too hard  
  
I think I found my calling now  
  
I lay down in the yard  
  
Don't you cry mamma, don't you even weep  
  
'Cause you know your son excels at sleep  
  
Giving up never felt so good  
  
Welcome to plan B  
  
giving up what is the likelihood?  
  
Life could be so free  
  
Giving up never felt so good  
  
Welcome to plan B  
  
Giving up what is the likelihood?  
  
Life could be so free"  
  
"He he he, that was fun Faye-Faye. Funny song! Faye-Faye's funny so-on-ng!  
  
"Thank you Ed"  
  
We kept playing stupid, lighthearted songs for the remainder of the day. Ed started getting extremely proficient with the bongos and learned to keep the beat by watching the tapping of my foot. After rush hour I decided we would play one more song then head back for the ship. Ed reluctantly agreed and we went about choosing the final song of the day.  
  
"What do we do do do with money Faye-Faye?"  
  
"Hmmm, how about something good for Ed?"  
  
She jumped at least four feet into the air, waving her arms wildly. She drew quite a crowd as she ran in circles throwing her arms in the air.  
  
"And for Ein wolf-wolf?"  
  
"Of course for Ein"  
  
"Yippee Yeah!"  
  
"Okay Okay, one more song Ed. What do you want to sing?"  
  
"Faye-Faye, you pick!"  
  
"Do you mind if I pick?"  
  
I looked up to see William, rather Bill, Doctor Zebb's musical friend.  
  
"Oh, Wil...Bill, nice to see you, again."  
  
"Always a pleasure to see you my dear and who is your little friend here?"  
  
"Ed is Ed, Mr. Bill"  
  
"Ahh I see, do you mind if I suggest a song to Faye?"  
  
"Go-ho-oo right ahead Mr. Bill"  
  
"I want you to play a song Faye that tells me how your feeling on the inside, right now. Can you do that for me?"  
  
"Umm...sure."  
  
Hell, I didn't know how I felt. I was happy to have spent the day with Ed, but thoughts still loomed in my head about Spike. I ran through some possible songs and choose one that suited me the best.  
  
"Okay, got one just don't except much."  
  
"Just play the song Faye"  
  
"Right"  
  
I inhaled and let it all loose.  
  
"I was staring at the sky  
  
Just looking for a star  
  
To pray on or wish on  
  
or something like that  
  
I was having a sweet fix  
  
of a daydream of a boy  
  
Who's reality I knew  
  
was hopeless to be had  
  
But then dove of hope  
  
began it's downward slope  
  
And I believed for a moment that  
  
my chances were approaching to be grabbed  
  
But as it came down near  
  
so did a weary tear  
  
I thought it was a bird  
  
but it was just a paper bag  
  
Hunger hurts  
  
and I want him so bad, oh kills  
  
Cause I know I'm mess  
  
he don't want to clean up  
  
I've got to fold  
  
cause these hands are  
  
just too shaky to hold  
  
Hunger hurts but starving works  
  
when costs to much to love  
  
I went crazy again today  
  
lookng for a strand to climb  
  
looking for a little hope  
  
Baby said he couldn't stay put  
  
he brought his lips to mine  
  
And failed to kiss it,  
  
failed to cope  
  
I said 'honey I don't feel so good  
  
Don't feel justified  
  
come put a little love here in my void'  
  
He said 'it's all in my head'  
  
I said 'So's everything'  
  
but he didn't get it  
  
I thought he was a man  
  
but he was just a little boy  
  
Hunger hurts  
  
and I want him so bad, oh kills  
  
Cause I know I'm mess  
  
he don't want to clean up  
  
I've got to fold  
  
cause these hands are  
  
just too shaky to hold  
  
Hunger hurts but starving works  
  
when costs to much to love  
  
Hunger hurts  
  
and I want him so bad, oh kills  
  
Cause I know I'm mess  
  
he don't want to clean up  
  
I've got to fold  
  
cause these hands are  
  
just too shaky to hold  
  
Hunger hurts but starving works  
  
when costs to much to love"  
  
I had closed my eyes through most the song, after I was done I looked up noticed a large crowd around me.  
  
"Faye, I'm going to be frank with you. We're down a singer at the company and I need someone badly. Would you want to audition for me, please?"  
  
I looked at Ed and the crowd around me, 'What do I have to lose?'  
  
"What do you think Ed?"  
  
"Edward wants to see Faye-Faye audition!!"  
  
Nothing, I had nothing lose. So why the hell not! Why should I let his memory hold me down?  
  
"When would be a good time to come in Bill?"  
  
"How about right now?"  
  
Ed and I gathered our gear and very full bowl of money. We followed Bill onto the train. We took seats next to Bill and I watched the double doors closed. As we started moving I firmly believed I had closed a chapter of my life as I watched the underground tunnels fly by behind me. Today was a new day, whether I liked it or not.  
  
  
  
**Wrap-up Notes: Ahh another chapter down! Songs: Plan B by Five Iron Frenzy and Fiona Apple's Paper Bag. Next chapter is on the way, you betta get ready (and review)!! 


	16. Greensleeves

Standard Disclaimers Apply as always, internships in my chosen profession are hard to come by, please don't sue us please  
  
**Author's Notes: Weee! It's officially January 16th and I head back to school on Sunday.....wait why am I excited? That's right! I get to post all these lovely chapters! I am going to be using parts of Joseph and the Technicolor Dreamcoat, to illustrate this better headings of a sort will be put in front of a line as to who is singing it (I don't think that makes much sense) just read and you'll see what I mean.  
  
Chapter 15~Greensleeves~  
  
I stood on a stage in the heart of downtown Vega, the largest city on Mars. I stood on the stage at Northern Cross Theater with about 10 members of the Mars Theater Company. I was wearing a pair of black flared dance pants and a pink tank top waiting for the director to start the music into "Go Go Joseph." We milled around the stage waiting for them to work out some sort of troubles with the lighting. Our "Joseph" named Carrey walked towards me.  
  
"You ready for tomorrow night Faye? Not backing out on me again are you?"  
  
"Nope, not again and I didn't back out on you."  
  
Yes, that's right I had a date. It took a bit of convincing on my part, but Carrey's persistence made it easy. I figured since it was the start of a new chapter in my life, a new man should come along with it.  
  
"That's right you were 'working'"  
  
"Shut-up I was!"  
  
"Don't worry I believe you Faye"  
  
"PLACES people!"  
  
"Argh, talk to you after practice tonight Faye"  
  
"You got it Joseph"  
  
"Shut-up Ms. Narrator"  
  
"JOSEPH! NARRATOR! Didn't you hear me call places!?!"  
  
"Yes Jack, we're going!"  
  
I ran to my place on the side of the stage, my common starting place as the narrator. It was a big part, much bigger than I excepted and I was loving every minute of it. I saw Ed in the empty seats, typing away on her computer. She came to just about every practice, just out of boredom. The cast actually really loved having her around, she made work just that more interesting. I snapped awake as I heard the music starting up.  
  
Narrator (Faye): Joseph's luck was running out  
  
His spirit's and his fortune's low  
  
Alone he sat  
  
Alone he thought  
  
Of happy times he used to know  
  
Prisoner: Hey dreamer, don't be so upset  
  
Prisoner 2: Hey Joseph, you're not beaten yet  
  
Cast: Go go go Joseph  
  
You know what they say  
  
Hang on now Joseph  
  
You'll make it someday  
  
Don't give up Joseph  
  
Fight 'til you drop  
  
We've read the book  
  
And you come out on top  
  
Narrator: Now into Joseph's prison cell  
  
Were flung to very frightened men  
  
Men: We don't think that we will ever  
  
See the light of day again  
  
Hey Joseph, help us if you can  
  
We've had dreams we don't understand  
  
Cast: Both men were servants of pharaoh the king  
  
Thrown in the dog house for doin' their thing  
  
Narrator: One was a baker a cook in his prime  
  
On was a butler the jeeves of his time  
  
Joseph: Tell me of your dreams my friends  
  
And I will tell you what they show  
  
Though I cannot guarantee to get it right  
  
I'll have a go  
  
Narrator: First the butler trembling took the floor  
  
Nervously he spoke of what he saw  
  
Butler: There I was standing in front of a vine  
  
I picked some grapes and crushed them to wine  
  
I gave it to pharaoh and who drank from my cup  
  
I tried to interpret, but I had to give up  
  
Joseph: You will soon be free my friend  
  
So do not worry anymore  
  
The king will let you out of here  
  
You'll butle as you did before  
  
Narrator: Then the baker rose to tell his dream  
  
Hoping it would have a similar theme  
  
Baker: There I was standing with baskets of bread  
  
High in sky I saw birds overhead  
  
Who flew to the basket and ate every slice  
  
Give me the message  
  
Like his would be nice  
  
Joseph: Sad to say, you're dream is not  
  
The kind of dream I'd like to get  
  
Pharaoh has it in for you  
  
Your execution date is set  
  
Don't rely on all I said I saw  
  
It's just that I have not been wrong before  
  
Cast: Go go Joe!  
  
Go go Joe!  
  
Go go Joe!  
  
Go go go Joseph  
  
You know what they say  
  
Hang on now Joseph  
  
You'll make it some day  
  
Joseph, you're doing fine  
  
You and your dreamcoat ahead of your time  
  
Go go go Joe!  
  
Here the dancing came in, and in all honesty I was terrible.  
  
Cast: Go go go Joe!  
  
Then the singing AND the dancing came in, which only decreased my singing abilities. I never did understand why the narrator had to dance too and not just stand by as a simple observing singer.  
  
Cast: Go go go Joe!  
  
Go go Joe!  
  
Go go Joe!  
  
Go go go Joseph  
  
You know what they say  
  
Hang on now Joseph  
  
You'll make it some day  
  
Joseph you're doing fine  
  
You and your dreamcoat ahead of your time  
  
Go go go Joseph  
  
You know what they say  
  
Hang on now Joseph  
  
You'll make it some day  
  
Joseph you're doing fine  
  
You and your dreamcoat ahead of your time  
  
Narrator: Ahead of your time  
  
Joseph: Ahead of my time  
  
Narrator: Ahead of your time  
  
Narrator and Joseph: Ahead of the time  
  
Narrator: Ahead of your time  
  
Joseph: Ahead of my time  
  
Narrator: Ahead of your time  
  
Cast: Ahead of your time!  
  
"Excellent people! Excellent work! Alright take the evening off, but double practice tomorrow. That means a morning AND and evening, full dress. Show opens day after tomorrow people!"  
  
'Shit' no date then, I don't know if I was really all that upset. I couldn't believe the show started in two days, 'Christmas Eve' it kinda made me sick. Carrey sullenly walked over to where I was standing and we headed out to get our gear in the seats.  
  
"Damn Faye, dinner plans dashed again"  
  
"Yeah looks like it."  
  
"Ah well, after the show is over then?"  
  
"Sounds good to me."  
  
"Before Cats starts that is, you sticking around for another show?"  
  
"If they'll take me back"  
  
"If!?!? If!?! Faye, you're kicking all our asses out there, it's a question if they need us anymore."  
  
"Very cute"  
  
"I can't wait to see you in one of those kitten suits"  
  
"Same to you"  
  
"I can totally see you singing Macavity, don't you think Ed?"  
  
"Edward agrees with Car-Man!"  
  
Him and Ed humored me by dancing around as if they were cats as Carrey sung a rough version Macavity from Cats.  
  
"Okay, okay that's enough, we need to get back Ed."  
  
"Hai Hai Faye-Faye"  
  
"See you tomorrow then Ms. Narrator"  
  
"Why yes Joseph"  
  
"Excellent, bye Edward darling!"  
  
"Byeee Car-Man"  
  
Ed and I walked down a block to the subway and rode it to the outskirts of Vega, where the Bebop was docked on the North Harbor. We left the station and started walking the mile to the coast.  
  
"I wonder if Jet-Person found a big bad bounty today"  
  
Jet was gone before either of us were up this morning, he had taken Ein with him.  
  
"I dunno, you think he has dinner ready?"  
  
"Edward highly doubts it Faye-Faye"  
  
"I'm sure you're right"  
  
"Is Faye-Faye gonna do the show about cats?"  
  
"If they want me, yes."  
  
"Oh Ed sees, is Faye-Faye gonna marry Car-Man too?"  
  
"Wha..!? Ed, where would you get an idea like that?"  
  
"Edward believes that Car-Man likes Faye-Faye mucho much."  
  
"I know he does"  
  
"Edward just wondering how Faye-Faye felt about Car-Man."  
  
"I dunno Ed, I'm a bit confused right now."  
  
"Spike-person making Faye-Faye confused?"  
  
"Yeah, he is Ed. I don't really now why I still care for him, but I can't help it. You know what I mean Ed?"  
  
"No, but Edward understands. Spike-person needs to get his head screwed on straight and stop fucking around with Faye-Faye."  
  
"ED!?! Did you just say fuck?"  
  
"Edward is older, therefore Edward uses older words."  
  
She huffed and promptly stood straighter as we walked. I couldn't help but laugh at the whole conversation. But I knew Ed was right, Spike was fucking around with me and I didn't like it in the slightest. We finished our walk back to the Bebop, only to walk in and see a good-sized pine tree in the living room. Jet was on a small step stool stringing lights around the tree.  
  
"Merry Christmas girls"  
  
"Aww Jet, it's the best"  
  
Ed and I ran down the steps and flung our arms around his legs, more like his ankles for Ed.  
  
"Ornaments and tinsel are in that box, you can start at it once I finish with the lights."  
  
After we decided the lights were perfect we set about putting the ornaments up. Some Jet had from years past when he was a cop, some he had bought today, and others he had made out of Ed's broken computer pieces and old parts for the Swordfish.  
  
"Edward believes we are missing something."  
  
"What is that Ed?"  
  
"Singing Faye-Faye, Edward saw a show on TV about Christmas. Families always sing carols while rimming the tree."  
  
"That's trimming Ed"  
  
"Sure we can sing carols Ed. Let's see..."  
  
It took me a bit, I had learned some for the coffee house but had no real use for them anymore. I didn't really feel like singing in the slightest, my voice was damned tired from singing what seemed like all day. But I hated to ruin Ed's vision of Christmas, so I mustered some strength and let whatever I had left loose.  
  
"God rest ye merry gentleman  
  
Let nothing you dismay  
  
Remember Christ our Savior  
  
Was born upon this day  
  
To save us all from satan's power  
  
When we were gone astray  
  
From God our Heavenly Father  
  
This blessed angel came  
  
And unto certain shepherd  
  
Brought tidings of the same  
  
How that in the Bethlehem was born  
  
The Son of God by name  
  
Oh tidings of comfort and joy  
  
Comfort and joy  
  
Oh tidings of comfort and joy  
  
Star of wonder  
  
Star of night  
  
Star with royal beauty bright  
  
Westward leading  
  
Still proceeding  
  
Guide us to they perfect light  
  
Oh the King on Bethlehem's plain  
  
Gold I bring to crown him again  
  
King forever ceasing never  
  
Over us all to reign  
  
Star of wonder  
  
Star of night  
  
Star with royal beauty bright  
  
Westward leading  
  
Still proceeding  
  
Guide us to they perfect light  
  
Glorious now behold him arise  
  
King and God and sacrifice  
  
Hallelujah, Hallelujah  
  
Worship him God most high  
  
Star of wonder  
  
Star of night  
  
Star with royal beauty bright  
  
Westward leading  
  
Still proceeding  
  
Guide us to they perfect light"  
  
We continued singing songs as we finished decorating the tree. Actually Edward more or less hummed along and added little back-ups where necessary. Jet on the other hand knew all the words to the songs, but he had to be the worst singer I have ever heard. Worse than Spike even, he switched from low and gruff to a high falsetto, it was very odd...and very bad. I went to get Jet's handmade angel, to hand to him on the step stool. I pulled it from the box, the material looked awfully familiar.  
  
"Let's go Faye, don't make me wait on this stool all day."  
  
I made a closer inspection of the material before I handed it to him.  
  
"Hey Jet! Are these my nylons?"  
  
Jet blushed the brightest red I had ever seen in my life.  
  
  
  
**Wrap-up Notes: Ahh done, lots of music in that chapter, the song from Joseph was longer than expected. Songs, "Go, Go, Go, Joseph" from Andrew Lloyd Webber's Joseph and the Technicolor Dreamcoat. I had intended them to do Rent instead of Joseph, but in the end I like Joseph better, more Christmasy. Also "God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen" I like the Barenaked Ladies and Sarah McLachlan version. Thanks to DeadeyeDick too who gave me the idea to have Jet sing with a high falsetto, it's not Stairway to Heaven but I think it works. Okay that's it, I'm outie! (Oh yeah, review lots!) 


	17. Tangled up in Blue

Standard Disclaimers Apply, no matter how hard I try NOT to spend money I always seem to spend more, please don't sue  
  
**Author's Notes: Woah! I'm over 120 reviews, it's totally blowing me away! You guys are the best reviewers out there and the nicest too!! I had a totally break through with this story driving back to school yesterday (January 25th). This chapter was totally up in arms until yesterday so it should be clear sailing to the end of this fic. I'm gonna project this at about another 4 to 5 chapters long. Then I'll be moving on to finish the Middle Man (which you should read) my RK fic, and from there who knows!  
  
Chapter 16~Tangled up in Blue~  
  
It was one of the last dress rehearsals before the show tomorrow night. We were finishing up the final dance number that ended the performance. Levi, one of Joseph's brothers in the show started to drift closer to me than he was suppose to be. I ignored him hoping he would eventually right himself. I did a couple of turns to the right and 'WHAM.'  
  
"My ARM!!"  
  
I looked to see Levi....well actually Rae laying in the orchestra pit cradling his arm. I looked over to see Carrey running my way, he glanced down at Rae.  
  
"That can't be good."  
  
Before I knew it me, Carrey, and Rae were speeding in Carrey's car towards Saint Jude's Hospital.  
  
"I'm sorry Rae, it's all my fault."  
  
"Don't sweat if Faye, I was way off my mark."  
  
"Do you think your arm is broken?"  
  
"I doubt it, I'm sure I'll be up and running fine by tomorrow evening"  
  
"You better be buddy!"  
  
"Thanks for all the support Carrey, glad to see you care."  
  
"That's what I'm here for."  
  
We entered the emergency room, it was filled with people. There had been an 8 car accident on the Vega turnpike. We spoke to the secretary who decided it would be best for the three of us to wait in one of the adult wards. An intern named Sandy led the three of us up to the east adult wing of the hospital. I watched Carrey peer into each room as we went by. He would lean over and fathom guesses as to why each person was in the hospital.  
  
"Not a very exciting ward eh Sandy?"  
  
"No, there are a lot of comma victims on this floor. Many have been out for months."  
  
"Wow that's gotta be hard on the family."  
  
"You have no idea sir"  
  
We kept walking down the hall. I slowed down and fell back from the other three. I walked by the room, it was like a hall of the dead. No movement, I passed another room where a few family members were speaking with their brother or son or grandson or husband. They were in tears, comforting each other. I tore myself away from the scene, not wanting to see anymore. I continued walking until I hit the next room, I glanced in and kept walking. Then I stopped, turned around and went back to the room. I stood in the door frame, not believing what I saw. My knees started to get weaken and tears were streaming from my eyes. I was shaking uncontrollably. I barely heard Sandy approach me.  
  
"Miss, are you alright?"  
  
She stood there looking at me and then looked into the room.  
  
".....Spike"  
  
"Do you know him?"  
  
"....I.....I....I love him"  
  
"Wait.....are you her?"  
  
She walked over to his bed and picked up his chart. I shakily followed her in. She unclipped a small scrap of paper. She looked at the name scrawled on the front.  
  
"Are you Faye?"  
  
I nodded and she handed me the scrap of paper. It was folded with 'Faye' written on the front in a man's handwriting.  
  
"We found it in his coat pocket."  
  
I unfolded the dirty paper to reveal a brief note written quickly in Spike's scrawling writing. I looked up at Sandy with my tear stained eyes and read the note aloud.  
  
"Dear Faye, I hope this makes it way to you but I can't really worry about that now. I love you Faye. And if I never make it back to you, I will leave loving you, loving you more than I ever have. I wish we had more time, I wish I hadn't been so stupid. All the time we should have spent together being happy, were filled with hate and lies. Things aren't going well for me Faye, I shouldn't have left you in the first place. But I had to close up my past so I could be happy with you. It was selfish I know, but I had to do it, I hope you understand. No matter what happens to me I will try to live for you. I promised I wouldn't die and I don't like breaking promises, but you know that already. Have blueberry pancakes ready for me when return Faye. I love you, Spike."  
  
I looked down at the note, I was crying more then I ever have. Sandy came and gave me a hug.  
  
"How long has he been here?"  
  
"About 2 weeks"  
  
I sobbed harder, 2 weeks here alone.  
  
"Was there a woman with him?"  
  
She flipped through the chart.  
  
"Spike Spegiel of Mars, found at St. Charles cathedral. Found alone at the scene with 2 bullet wounds in the left leg. Also cuts on his stomach, legs, arms, face and hands."  
  
She skimmed the rest of the chart.  
  
"It doesn't look like it."  
  
I walked over to the bed and sat on the edge near his shoulder. Before I knew it he was starting to thrash violently.  
  
"Oh no! I gotta get Claire."  
  
Sandy ran from the room and quickly came back with an older nurse. The older nurse eyed me through her bifocals.  
  
"Who is this?"  
  
"Faye, Claire she's the woman...."  
  
Claire's eyes grew big as she stared at me.  
  
"You're her?"  
  
I nodded solemnly.  
  
"Can I ask what's going on?"  
  
"He's dreaming again"  
  
"Has he done this alot?"  
  
Claire nodded.  
  
"We can never calm him down, he must be reliving some terrible memories."  
  
"May I try?"  
  
"By all means"  
  
I looked down a Spike's thrashing person, he was very sweaty. I scooted further onto the bed and took his head and laid it in my lap. I knew I was crying again, this wasn't how I wanted to see Spike again. I combed my fingers through his hair, then ran my fingers soothingly across his forehead and cheeks. I was sobbing and shaking more than before. I knew I had to gain some composure in order to help him, I knew I was stronger than this. I mustered up my voice, unsure of what would come out. I started to sing with a shaky tear-filled voice.  
  
"I am ready love  
  
Why are you hiding from me?  
  
I quickly give my freedom  
  
to repel in your captivity  
  
I am ready for love  
  
All of the joy and the pain  
  
and all the time that it takes  
  
just to stay in your good grace  
  
Lately I've been thinking  
  
Maybe you're not ready for me  
  
Maybe you think I need to learn maturity  
  
They say watch what you ask for  
  
cause you might receive  
  
But if you ask me tomorrow  
  
I will say the same thing  
  
I am ready for love  
  
Will you please lend me your ears  
  
I promise I won't complain  
  
I just need you to acknowledge I am here  
  
If you give me half a chance  
  
I will prove this to you  
  
I will be patient, kind, faithful, and true  
  
To a man who loves music  
  
A man who loves art  
  
Respects the spirit world  
  
and thinks with his heart  
  
I am ready for love  
  
If you take me in your hands  
  
I will learn what you teach  
  
and do the best that I can  
  
I am ready for love  
  
Here with an offering up  
  
My voice, my eyes, my soul, my mind  
  
Tell me what is enough?  
  
to prove I am ready for love"  
  
I kept combing through his hair, he had calmed down into a peaceful slumber. I looked up at both Claire and Sandy, who both had tears in their eyes.  
  
"I think we'll leave you two alone, Sandy will inform your friends where you are."  
  
I nodded and watched them leave. I turned my attention back down to sleeping Spike. Why did things always end up this way for me? Why couldn't I find him awake? I sat there and couldn't help but wonder what had happened to him. Where was Julia when all this happened?  
  
"Hey Faye, Rae just had a sprained...."  
  
I looked up at Carrey standing in the doorway. His handsome grin faded into a slight frown.  
  
"What happened to Rae?"  
  
"Sprained his wrist, but he should be fine for tomorrow."  
  
"That's good."  
  
Then there was silence.  
  
"We should probably go Faye, evening run through starts in a bit here."  
  
I nodded and took another look at Spike. He was beautiful, not just handsome, but beautiful. I looked at Carrey standing in the doorway, he would never compare to Spike. Not in looks, not it wit, not in heart; he was average to me. I laid Spike's head down on the pillow and stood up. I leaned down and kissed him lightly on the forehead, then the tip of his nose, and then his lips. I whispered in his ear.  
  
"Deeps greens and blues are the colors I'd choose. Won't you let me go down in my dreams"  
  
"Faye? Let's go man we're going to be late"  
  
I ignored Carrey and whispered one last thing.  
  
"You kept your promise Spike, so wake up already cowboy."  
  
I joined Carrey and Rae in the hallway. We passed Sandy as we left.  
  
"Thanks with my wrist Sandy."  
  
"No problem"  
  
"Bye Sandy thanks for the help"  
  
"You're welcome."  
  
I walked passed Sandy and paused.  
  
"I'll be back later"  
  
She nodded and I walked through the large double doors into the sunlight.  
  
**Wrap-up Notes: I am thoroughly excited about the way this story is going. I haven't liked the last few chapters, but I think this one is a winner. By the time this is posted the next chapter will be waiting on deck, so get ready!! The song is by india.arie called Ready for Love. It is an amazing song, it makes me cry every time I listen to it. Faye also uses a line from Sweet Baby James. That's all for now, review why dontcha? I'm outie!  
  
PLEASE REVIEWS! 


	18. Suffused with Love

Standard Disclaimers Apply, I think I need to stop going to Barnes and Noble just cut myself off if you will the store makes me buy more and more, still broke (thanks to Barnes and Noble) please don't sue  
  
**Author's Notes: Um not much to add here, the fic is almost done! I don't know if that's a good thing or a bad thing. I am excited about finishing the Middle Man and starting some new fics. Okay on with this chapter!  
  
Chapter 17~Suffused with Love~  
  
I left morning dress rehearsal in a flash; I didn't even bother to remove most of my stage make-up. Carrey had acted weird all morning, I felt sorry for him. It wasn't his fault this happened. I hope after he gets over this we can be friends, I do like him. But again, he isn't Spike. No one can be Spike. It took me a long time to realize that it seems. Why did I play the helpless girl through this whole ordeal? Why didn't I hunt him down and bitch him out for treating me like shit? Why didn't I try to contact him? Well there's really no use in thinking about it now. It's like Doctor Zebb always used to tell me.  
  
"The past is the past Faye, you can't do anything about it. So let it slide, just let it slide"  
  
"How can I just 'let it slide'?"  
  
"Practice"  
  
At the time I thought she was some nutty hippie, but she was right. After I learned to let one thing go, it became easier to let the next thing go. But I forget how to let things slide when Spike is involved. I think I need more practice.  
  
I reached the hospital and walked over to the main desk. I saw Sandy flipping through chart, so immediately looked up at me with a smile.  
  
"He's missed you Faye"  
  
"How can he? He's in a comma!"  
  
"I dunno, I can just tell."  
  
Nevermind she was a nutty hippie. She gave me this little visitor's tag that said I was his wife.  
  
"But I'm not"  
  
"Today you are, only immediate family are really allowed to visit him."  
  
"He has no immediately family!"  
  
"YOU are"  
  
"Okay okay, thanks Sandy"  
  
"No problem Mrs. Spiegel"  
  
"Right"  
  
I hurried away before she could see me blush like a ten-year-old schoolgirl. 'Mrs. Spiegel' god that sounded good. I could just see him introducing me.  
  
"This is my wife Faye"  
  
"Nice to meet you Mrs. Spiegel"  
  
I could see our kids, too...okay jumping ahead a bit there Faye. He's not even awake yet and I'm picturing our children...I'm such a girl.  
  
"Hiya Spike"  
  
I walked into his room and sat down on the corner of his bed.  
  
"You bored out of your mind yet? Or do you just need a good smoke?"  
  
I don't know why I was talking to him like this. Maybe I was becoming a nutty hippie too. I dunno, I saw it in this soap opera where there was this guy in this comma for like ever. Then they get his kid to talk to him and WHAM! He wakes up; maybe it'll work for me. I look down at Spike sleeping like a lump.maybe not.  
  
"C'mon lunkhead, let's snap outta this. You're supposed to buy me a big princess cut engagement right, not sleep."  
  
"I don't think he would appreciate being called a lunkhead."  
  
The devil herself is there, in full black and blonde glory.  
  
"Hi"  
  
"Hello Faye, any better?"  
  
"Not that I can tell, no"  
  
"Sandy said he was grunting last night, possibly a sign that he'll wake up soon."  
  
Damn you Sandy you fucking hippie, why didn't you tell me that?  
  
"Wait a sec, how'd you get in here anyway?"  
  
"I told Sandy I was your sister."  
  
"And she believed you?"  
  
"Yeah that she did"  
  
"Fucking hippie"  
  
"That about sums it up."  
  
"Do you mind if I ask what happened"  
  
"No you have a right to know."  
  
She saunters over to the other side of the bed and sits down in the chair.  
  
"He cleared my name, the whole syndicate thought I had gotten him and Vicious killed. My only life is the syndicate, Faye, I need them. The second Spike showed up everything came to a halt. They idolize him, Faye, as if he were the height of achievement. They needed a leader, someone to turn them in the right direction. I know he didn't want to do it Faye. But he knew if he didn't they'd just hunt him down and force him. He cut a deal with them, he'd help for a few months and get things reorganized and on the right track then he'd be free. That's all he wanted Faye was to be free of them. After a few months Spike was pretty sure they weren't going to hold up to their end of the deal, he knew he was going to be stuck. So he planned another death, I was in on it. I won't go into the particulars, they sickening for me even to think about today, but Spike ended up like this."  
  
"Is he free?"  
  
"He's free"  
  
"What about you?"  
  
"What do you mean me?"  
  
"Is he free of you?"  
  
She looked shaken for a minute; she didn't expect that to come out of my mouth. Hell neither did I.  
  
"Yeah, I guess he is"  
  
"I'm sorry that was rude of me."  
  
"No, it's perfectly acceptable. I'm going back to the syndicate, somewhere Spike never wants to see again"  
  
"Why do you stay?"  
  
"I'm a coward, the biggest coward of them all."  
  
"You're not a coward, no coward could look as cool and collected as you do. If anyone here is, it's me."  
  
She laughed; it's the first time I've heard her laugh. It's like music, light and melodic. I stared at her not sure exactly what she was laughing at.  
  
"Sorry, it's just.never mind."  
  
She wipes a few tears from her eyes from the laughing and stands up.  
  
"I should go Faye"  
  
"Oh, can't you stay longer?"  
  
"No, people will start to wonder."  
  
She extends her hand to me and I take it.  
  
"Good-bye Faye Valentine, take care of our lunkhead."  
  
We shake hands and she smiles, truly smiles.  
  
"Oh and make him get you a big, diamond for the ring, with a platinum band the biggest damn princess cut diamond in the universe"  
  
"Umm, sure"  
  
She heads for the door then turns around and says one last thing to me.  
  
"We really should have been sisters"  
  
She leaves just as smoothly as she came, that was the last time I saw her. Not a bad memory to hold I must say. I look at the clock and realize it's time to go, call in 20 minutes.  
  
"Good-bye lunkhead, see you soon"  
  
I give him a light kiss on the lips.  
  
"You're free ya know, snap out of it will ya?"  
  
I walk out the door and down the hall. I stop by the nurse's station and hand Sandy my visitor's pass.  
  
"See you Sandy"  
  
"Bye Mrs. Spiegel, hurry back the Mister misses you."  
  
I head down the hallway towards the doors.  
  
"Fucking hippie"  
  
  
  
**Wrap-up: Woo, done with that one. Please review it would make me mucho happy. Oh yeah Happy Valentine's Day!  
  
REVIEW PLEASE!!!!! 


	19. My Strongest Suit

Standard Disclaimers Apply, I am less broke now because I'm 'saving' money, just don't sue  
  
**Author's Notes: I'm having some formatting glitches; I've switched from AppleWorks to Microsoft Word so yeah. I believe this . . . was represented with just. this last time. I'll go back and fix it here eventually. After this only 1 more chapter until the end of this story, pretty exciting ne? I think I might have said there was going to be another chapter but there's not only 1 left which will really be an epilogue of sorts then a little thank you chapter from me.  
  
Also I'm sending out a HUGE cry for help in formatting, I've tried the .doc, .txt, and .html and NONE of them will supports italics or the single spacing I want to use for the songs. If anyone could help that'd be amazing!  
  
Chapter 18~My Strongest Suit~  
  
'May I return to the beginning  
  
The light is dimming, and the dream is too  
  
The world and I are still waiting  
  
Still hesitating, any dream will do  
  
May I return, to the beginning  
  
The light is dimming, and the dream is too  
  
The world and I, we are still waiting  
  
Still hesitating, any dream will do  
  
Give me my colored coat  
  
My amazing colored coat  
  
Give me my colored coat  
  
My amazing colored coat'  
  
The complete rush of adrenaline as I stand here taking my bows is unlike anything I've ever felt before. I weaved my way off stage with everyone else all the way to the lobby. There I found Jet and Ed waiting anxiously among the upper crust of Mars. They spotted my almost immediately within an instant Ed had her skinny arms wrapped around my waist.  
  
"Good job Faye-Faye!"  
  
Jet came next and provided a backbreaking hug.  
  
"Way to go Faye"  
  
"Ed liked the part with the pom-poms and Faye-Faye dancing crazy!"  
  
"Go go Joe? I was a terrible dancer Ed"  
  
Ed proceeded to demonstrate some moves that consisted of a lot of kicking and twirling. I watch Carrey make his way over to us. He snuck up behind Ed and lifted her up over his head.  
  
"Car Man!"  
  
"Ed darling how are we?"  
  
"Why Car Man, just divine!"  
  
The ring of Jet's communicator stopped it all, he fished it out of his pocket.  
  
"Hello?"  
  
"Hi this Sandy from Saint Jude's hospital, Mr. Spiegel has woken up. If you want to stop by I think that would be helpful to . . ."  
  
"If we WANT to! Of course we do!"  
  
In a flash Jet, Ed, and I had loaded into Carrey's car and the four of us sped off towards the hospital. I sat in the front passenger seat of Carrey's car as he weaved his way through traffic, honking and cussing appropriately. I couldn't get calm. It was that feeling all over again. I was sweating and my breathing became shallow. 'Not now! Please not now!' We were stopped abruptly by a red light. Carrey looked over at me. He took my hand and gave me a smile.  
  
"Don't lose yourself now Faye. No matter what happens remember I'll be here, I'll pick you back up again."  
  
The light turned green and we were on our way without another word. When we arrived at the hospital Sandy was waiting for us.  
  
"Hi guys!"  
  
"Where is he?"  
  
"Follow me"  
  
We followed Sandy down the halls of the hospital. We passes Spike's old room, it was empty. The sheets and been clean and made.  
  
"Why isn't he in his room?"  
  
" Would you want to stay in that room once you woke up?"  
  
"I guess not"  
  
She led us to a large set of double doors and stopped. My heart was racing, this was it. I didn't know if I should cry or scream or laugh. I was experiencing hundreds of emotions all at once. Sandy opened one door; I was first to peer through the door to see him sitting comfortably in a wheelchair talking to some other men. He was laughing and smiling, I really had missed his smile.  
  
"You're welcome to go speak to him"  
  
"You first Faye"  
  
I looked at Jet as he motioned me to go in. I stood there, my arms wouldn't move. I found myself physically unable to step into that room. Without a second thought I bolted for the bathroom. I flung open the doors and locked myself in the handicapped stall.  
  
"Faye-Faye!"  
  
Thank God it was Ed, I needed no lectures from Jet, Carrey, or the fucking hippie Sandy.  
  
"Faye-Faye?"  
  
"I'm here Ed"  
  
Ed's head looked under the stalls, she finally spotted me crumpled on the floor hovering by the toilet. She slid under the door and sat up to greet me.  
  
"Howdy Faye-Faye"  
  
"Howdy Ed"  
  
There was silence; she just sat there watching me. There were no 'Faye- Faye why. . .' Or 'Faye-Faye's stupid . . .' There was just silence.  
  
"Spike-person didn't fuck over Faye-Faye. Edward feels bad for calling Spike nasty names."  
  
"What names did you call him?"  
  
"Fucker, bastard, bastardfucker, fuckerbastard, poo-headed fucking bastard, and poo-headed bastard fucker."  
  
I couldn't help but laugh, Ed was still Ed with the new vocabulary or not.  
  
"What's wrong with me Ed?"  
  
"Faye-Faye is not used to direct emotional confrontations. Faye-Faye fears being fucked over by poo-headed bastard fuckers like Spike-person were thought to be by the very wrong Edward."  
  
"What do you think I should do then Ed, if I fear bastard fuckers like you say?"  
  
"Poo-headed bastard fuckers."  
  
"Right, right poo-headed bastard fuckers. I know Spike isn't one, why is this so hard?"  
  
"Edward believes Faye-Faye has other gifts that she can use to express feelings very well."  
  
"Like what?"  
  
"Edward noticed a piano in the corner of that room"  
  
"Ahh I see."  
  
"Edward feels that Faye-Faye is very expressive through music."  
  
"Thank you Ed. If I sing Ed, will you sing back up?"  
  
"Edward would be delighted"  
  
After a brief discussion of song choice, Edward and I headed back to the room. Jet and Carrey were already talking to Spike. We motioned to Sandy, she was reluctant at first, but Ed used her patented 'sad child' eyes. No one can resist those eyes and neither could our hippie nurse. We made our way to the old baby grand piano in the corner of the room. Sandy tried to get the group's attention.  
  
"Excuse me, for your entertainment, we have Faye Valentine a member of the Mar's Theatre Company. She'll be playing some music and taking requests, so without further ado."  
  
She went to take a seat by Carrey and Jet. I smiled down at Ed who was sitting to my right on the piano bench. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, 'don't fear the fuckheads' and with that I began.  
  
"The moment has come to face the truth  
  
I'm wide-awake and so are you  
  
Do you have a clue what this is? (I don't know)  
  
Are you everything that need? (Don't talk so)  
  
We'll just have to wait and see (wait and see)  
  
And if things go right we're meant to be  
  
The surface is gone we've scratched it off  
  
We made some plans then let them go  
  
Do you have the slightest idea? (No don't)  
  
Why the world is bright when you're near? (Oh is that so)  
  
Stay awhile and wait and see (wait and see)  
  
I things go right we're meant to be  
  
Oh what a world this life would be  
  
Forget all your Technicolor dreams  
  
Forget modern nature this is how it's meant to be  
  
The time is here for being straight  
  
It's not too early and never too late  
  
People say I should watch my face (what do they know?)  
  
Think how you spend all your days (they all say so)  
  
They'll just have to wait and see (wait and see)  
  
If things go right were meant to be  
  
Oh what a world this life would be  
  
Forget all your Technicolor dreams  
  
Forget modern nature this is how it's meant to be  
  
Do have the slightest idea?  
  
Why the world is bright when you're near  
  
Stay awhile and wait and see  
  
If things go right we're meant to be  
  
Oh what a world this life would be  
  
Forget all your Technicolor dreams  
  
Forget modern nature this is how it's meant to be  
  
Forget modern nature this is how it's meant to be"  
  
I turned to look at Spike, he began to roll wheelchair over to us. He made it to the bench and gingerly took my hand and started to pull me out of the room. Carrey, and Sandy all stood there dumbfounded at Spike's suddenness. Ed merely waved and gave me a thumbs up.  
  
"We need to talk Faye"  
  
He pulled me out of the room and down the hall to his old room. We stopped outside the room, he looked up at me with a smile.  
  
"Close your eyes Faye"  
  
He continued to pull me into the room. We neared the bed, I bumped into it on the way there.  
  
"Watch yourself"  
  
"Can I open my eyes now?"  
  
"Nope, okay lay down on the bed."  
  
"How can I when I can't see!?!  
  
"It's not difficult just lay down."  
  
I felt around on the bed and found the pillow. I awkwardly lay down on my back. I couldn't help but wonder exactly what was going on, 'he can't have sex in his condition . . . can he?'  
  
"Can I open my eyes?"  
  
"Nope"  
  
"Is that all you're going to say to me 'nope?'  
  
"Nope"  
  
"Right . . ."  
  
I could hear him close the door and flip off the lights. It became a great deal darker under my eyelids. I heard him fumble around for a while, and then something clicked. Immediately music filled the room.  
  
'It's marvelous night for a moondance  
  
With the stars up above in your eyes'  
  
"Wait a second! How did you . . .?"  
  
"Shh"  
  
I shut up and the music played on.  
  
'A fantabulous night to make romance  
  
'Neath the cover of October skies'  
  
I could hear him wheel over to the bed. He made a grunt and hoisted himself up onto the bed.  
  
"What on earth?"  
  
"Shh, quite Faye"  
  
'You know the nights magic seems to whisper and hush'  
  
He wrapped his arms around my waist and buried his head in my neck.  
  
'You know the soft moonlight seems to shine in your blush'  
  
"Spike?"  
  
'Can I just have one more moondance my love?  
  
Can just make some more romance to you my love'  
  
"Open your eyes Faye"  
  
I opened my eyes to see stars littered across the ceiling. Stars and stars all weaved themselves into patterns above me.  
  
"How?"  
  
"Glow in the dark stickers, Sandy found them for me."  
  
"Fucking hippie . . ."  
  
He nuzzled my neck and planted small kisses on my shoulder. I couldn't take my eyes off the ceiling it was spectacular.  
  
"Stars on the ceiling."  
  
"Stars on the ceiling."  
  
'Can I just have one more moondance my love?'  
**Author's Notes: Ahhh, done sorry it took so very long. I was on break and I don't update from home, so yeah. Hopefully everyone caught all the references to earlier chapter at the end there. The songs in this chapter are AWESOME so definitely get a hold of these. First "Close Every Door" from Joseph and the Technicolor Dreamcoat, then "Modern Nature" by Sondre Lerche, and then finally "Moondance" by Van Morrison. One chapter left that will be pretty short and epilogue really, that should be up within the next couple of days or maybe in the next couple of hours. I have a new Kenshin fic up called 'Red roses for a Blue Lady' please go check it out!  
  
MORE REVIEWS = ONE HAPPY NINJA 


	20. Nowadays

Standard Disclaimers Apply, I seriously have 10 bucks to my name and a 30 dollar ink cartridge that doesn't work (damn) please don't sue poor, poor pitiful me  
  
**Author's Notes: Oh my, yeah definitely didn't get this up in 'a few days' like promised. The Ninja is sorry, but school is KILLING me. Why did a double major sound like a good idea? And I found out at the end of last month somebody else (besides me) took the name the Red Ninja. Now there's another one!!! This is my name * sniff sniff * Anywho, this is it! Last chapter I hope you enjoy, many of you were 'scared' by the last chapter . . . was it just Spike's behavior. . or I dunno. Anyway on with the show!  
  
Chapter 10~Nowadays~  
  
"C'mon on babe why don't we paint the town?  
  
And all that jazz  
  
I'm gonna rouge my knees and roll my stockings down  
  
And all that jazz  
  
Start the car I know a whoopee spot  
  
Where the gin is cold but the pianos hot  
  
It's just a noisy hall where there's a nightly brawl  
  
And all that jazz"  
  
It was opening night for Chicago; I was on stage in my black beaded number singing my heart out as Velma.  
  
"Hold on hun were gonna bunny hug  
  
I bought some aspirin down at United Drug  
  
Incase you shake apart and want a brand-new start  
  
To do that jazz"  
  
It's been six weeks since Spike woke up. He went through some physical therapy; tonight is his first night out of the wheelchair.  
  
"Find a flask were playing fast and loose  
  
And all that jazz  
  
Right up here is where I store the juice  
  
And all that jazz"  
  
I look down at the second row to see Spike, Ed, Jet, and Doctor Zebb. Jet invited her, he said as a friend. Like I really believe that . . .  
  
"No I'm no ones wife  
  
But oh I love my life"  
  
My wayward life is seemingly falling into place. The puzzle pieces finally fit . . . for the first time in my life. Life ain't half bad.  
  
"And all that jazz  
  
That jazz"  
  
After the final curtain call I head back to the dressing rooms. On my small table I see a bouquet of daisies. 'Spike?' I opened the card to find a note written in beautiful looping handwriting.  
  
'Nice job tonight sister. Keep that man of yours in line'  
  
I couldn't help but smile. Things were falling into place alright . . . for everyone. Out in the lobby I see my small family. Ed sees me first and dashes to throw her arms around me.  
  
"Faye-Faye is a jazz killer"  
  
"A sexy one at that."  
  
I turn to see Carrey, or 'Billy Flynn' behind me with a grin. Spike steps forward with a handshake.  
  
"Nice job Carrey"  
  
"Thanks man"  
  
"Car-man was one shrew lawyer person!"  
  
"Why thank you Edward dearest, you are just too much."  
  
I slide over to my cane-toting boyfriend and grab his unused hand.  
  
"So where are my flowers?"  
  
"I was supposed to get you flowers?"  
  
"If you weren't holding a cane I'd beat you for that Mr. Spiegel!"  
  
"Well I am holding a cane, and you're flowers are in the Swordfish."  
  
I gave his hand a gentle squeeze. I looked up into those beautiful mismatched eyes of his. He motioned his head towards Jet. I looked over their way to see Jet's hand on Doctor Zebb's ass.  
  
"Holy shi . . ."  
  
Carrey quickly clamped his hand over my mouth.  
  
"Don't ruin the moment Faye."  
  
"The pervy moment is more like it."  
  
"You're just jealous Faye. Spike she wants you to grab her ass."  
  
"I do not!"  
  
"Well then you'll have to let go of my hand Faye sweetie unless you want me to rub it with my cane."  
  
"Okay that's it you two"  
  
"Aww c'mon Faye, you've gotten Spike's hopes up now. Let him grab your ass!"  
  
"Go find a girlfriend, Carrey."  
  
"Ouch Faye that hurt."  
  
Spike was laughing hysterically, and then I felt his cane on my butt.  
  
"And you Mr. Spiegel! If you want to touch me at all this evening you better keep that cane to yourself!"  
  
"Jet-person, Edward thinks that we better high tail it out of here before F, S, and C make a scene."  
  
"Good idea Ed. Shall we?"  
  
Doctor Zebb linked arms with Jet and they headed for the door, Edward close behind.  
  
"Spike, Faye, Carrey!! Let's move it I'm hungry!"  
  
"Coming Jet, hold you're horses there."  
  
Carrey headed off to catch up with the three of them. Spike grabbed my hand again and we followed behind.  
  
"Nice job this evening Ms. Valentine"  
  
"Why thank you Mr. Spiegel."  
  
"You didn't mean that thing about me not being able to touch you tonight did you?"  
  
"You bet your life I did cowboy. Let's go eat some meatloaf."  
  
And all that Jazz 


	21. End on This aka the final wrapup notes

Standard disclaimers . . . wait a sec this is all original stuff, so this is MINE don't take it  
  
Wow, it's been a trip! This is wasn't my first fic, but it has been my first completed one. I really couldn't have done it without all my great reviewers.  
  
Mrs. Jenova: My first reviewer, thanks for sticking this out with me.  
  
Apathy  
  
Stella  
  
Gren44  
  
Reno Spiegel: Big thanks for sticking with this story all the way through! And a soundtrack would be a sweet ass idea. Hmmm . . .  
  
Randalbezerker: Thanks for coming back chapter after chapter, the Clerks reference STILL rocks! Thanks also for all the odd ball comments in your reviews they really made me laugh.  
  
cOWGIRLfunk  
  
Washu the not so signed in goddess  
  
KawaiiAyu  
  
Trunkz: I believe you've separately reviewed each chapter! Thanks SO much!  
  
Dynamite  
  
Jcool: You officially got chapter 8 posted all on your lonesome, thanks for all the reviews!  
  
Rei Woo  
  
SephirothSpirit: Thanks for your continued support!  
  
Rei Spiegel: Another great reviewer and I totally dig the arrow thing you do in your reviews  
  
star-crystals: Thanks for your continued support  
  
Blooknaburg: I think you said 'Mackies' once in your reviews, I may steal that for my own personal use. It's like Zoinks but cooler. Thanks for all your sweet reviews!  
  
Sagan Fox: The fact I actually made you cry completely blows me away. Thanks for the reviews!  
  
Max's 1 only: Your pen name has had me totally intrigued for quite some time; I'd like to know what it means. Thanks for the reviews!  
  
Deadeyedick: Thanks for your great idea on Jet's singing ability and some wonderful compliments as well.  
  
alicia  
  
Rio  
  
Cool Girl 2001: Thanks so much for all your reviews! Another person that ended up sniffing after reading my fic.  
  
FoXy_LaDy: I gotta say I love your pen name. Thanks for the review!  
  
catleya: Thanks so much for all your support, I can't believe this story kept you from sleeping, yippers!  
  
The Mad Orange: I appear to have made you cry at some points too. Thanks for all your support!  
  
Benito the little devil: Thanks for ALL your support you wrote a butt load of reviews (and long ones!). I'll have to talk to you more on instant messager, it was kinda fun.  
  
LoveHina  
  
amazed: Yes your motivation worked in getting me to write more, thanks!  
  
ShellyMoon: Thanks so much for all your support, and liking it so much as to want to post it on your website. It really means a lot.  
  
faye san: Another great reviewer! Thanks so much!  
  
Spike: a little misunderstanding by me in the beginning, sorry again. But thanks for coming back and being one hell of a reviewer!  
  
LaVon  
  
Wind Walker  
  
Asily: Thanks for taking a chance and checking out my fic. I'm glad it was worth it for you.  
  
luna: Thanks for such wonderful comments!  
  
bitchy brunette: I love your pen name as well. Thanks for some awesome reviews!  
  
Enigma: Thanks for the review!!  
  
me&spike4ever  
  
somebody: *Sigh* Another Golden Slumbers fanatic, the song brings me to tears every time. Thanks for the reviews!  
  
Chibi Marron  
  
Silent Song  
  
Penguinpj  
  
Ghost140  
  
Inugurl  
  
amber-waves  
  
Rosebud  
  
Ametenshi: I'm glad I made you feel better! I love talking to people that go into therapy, it makes me feel much better.  
  
Whew! Lot of people to thank there! But you guys deserve it!! Of course there are other to thank such as the wonderful artist that provided the music in the fic and ALL the chapter titles. Let's just call this the soundtrack list of The Therapy Sessions  
  
Chapter 1: Surrendering by Alanis Morissette  
  
Chapter 2: Inaudible Melodies by Jack Johnson  
  
Chapter 3: All I Need is an Open Mic Songs: Moondance by Van Morrison Sweet Baby James by James Taylor  
  
Chapter 4: Gotta Get Through This by David Beddingfield Songs: Someday We'll Know by the New Radicals (NOT the version from A Walk to Remember by that freak Mandy Moore)  
  
Chapter 5: Doll Revolution by Elvis Costello  
  
Chapter 6: Wink and a Smile by (not originally) Harry Conick Jr. Songs: Wink and a Smile by Harry Conick Jr.  
  
Chapter 7: Her Majesty by the Beatles Songs: Golden Slumbers by the Beatles  
  
Chapter 8: Shoot the Moon by Norah Jones Songs: Fortunate Fool by Jack Johnson If I Were a Bell from Guys and Dolls Sweet Baby James by James Taylor  
  
Chapter 9: Your Song by Elton John (I like the Ewan McGregor version from Moulin Rouge) Songs: Waste by Phish Something so Right a cover by Annie Lennox  
  
Chapter 10: So Much for the Afterglow by Everclear Songs: Come Away with Me by Norah Jones Changes by David Bowie  
  
Chapter 11: In Other Words by Ben Kweller Songs: Sweet Baby James by James Taylor (again)  
  
Chapter 12: Dead in the Water by David Gray Songs: This Ruined Puzzle by Dashboard Confessionals  
  
Chapter 13: Hard Day's Night by the Beatles Songs: Cleaning Windows by Van Morrison  
  
Chapter 14: Simple Pages by Weezer Songs: Plan B by Five Iron Frenzy Paper Bag by Fiona Apple  
  
Chapter 15: Greensleeves Songs: Go Go Joseph by Andrew Lloyd Webber from Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat  
  
Chapter 16: Tangled up in Blue by Bob Dylan Songs: Ready for Love by india.arie  
  
Chapter 17: Suffused with Love by Sondre Lerche  
  
Chapter 18: My Strongest Suit from Aida by Elton John and Tim Rice Songs: Modern Nature by Sondre Lerche  
  
Chapter 19: Nowadays from Chicago Songs: All that Jazz from Chicago  
  
Double Whew! That's alot of music! Couple more things before I close this out.  
  
This fic is dedicated to everyone out there that has to deal with Generalized Anxiety Disorder. Its prevalence in my life lead me to write this.  
  
Some words about the current writings of the Red Ninja:  
  
Red Roses for a Blue Lady: My latest start to an RK fic, I'm totally excited about this one. So go check it out guys!  
  
The Middle Man: My 2nd Rurouni Kenshin fic, it will be finished. PLEASE go check it out!  
  
Another Long Day: My in progress Weiss Kruez fic, I've never liked how I wrote it. Nor has it ever been completed and I don't if it ever will. But for a first fanfic I don't think it's all that bad, I think it's pretty damn funny actually.  
  
Elaborate Lives: My first RK fic, it's done, please go read it.  
  
Future writings of the Red Ninja:  
  
Hopefully a Lodoss fic that's been in the works for about a year now. I would love to get it up.  
  
A Full Metal Panic fic that's GOOD! It'll make a whopping 2 on ff.net  
  
Another Bebop fic? I dunno . . . I'm fresh out of ideas in the Bebop department. Maybe a sequel? Who knows? I was thinking of starting an A/U romantic comedy based off a book I just read. Just an idea . . .  
  
Alright guys, I'm signing out on this fic now. Thanks for all the support again, I'll keep you posted  
  
I'm outie  
  
Red Ninja 


End file.
